“It isn’t every day that we are told what we are supposed to do, nor is it every day that we know what we are going to do.”… Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. This statement highlights a significant contrast between different stages of life. For instance, elementary school students are constantly guided on what they are supposed to do, while university students may often find themselves unsure of what to do next. This contrast raises an important question: how do we navigate the transition from being guided to becoming independent? A child does not require an adult to hold their hand forever and dictate the course of their life. Instead, the role of an adult is to instill the concept of independence in the child’s mind. It is essential to teach life skills that will enable the child to make informed decisions on their own.
Parents and mentors should help children understand their strengths and limitations, encouraging them to embrace their unique qualities. By doing so, we empower children to become confident individuals, capable of navigating life’s challenges independently. It is crucial to recognize that, much like a goat cannot be used to plow the land, a child who is not suited to a particular subject or career cannot be forced into it. The natural order is designed to help children develop in ways that are in harmony with their innate abilities and interests. Forcing a child into something that is beyond their capabilities will only lead to frustration and setbacks.
This principle is easier to understand when the child is young. At this stage, the child has yet to navigate the complexities of the world, and it is our responsibility to guide them and channel their development in ways that align with their natural inclinations. However, as the child matures and begins to experience career breaks or faces challenges in decision-making, they may find themselves struggling to find their path. It is during these times that many young adults seek the guidance of their parents, who may have inadvertently remained too involved in their decision- making process, failing to gradually step back as their children grow. Parents must strike a balance between providing support and allowing their children to take ownership of their decisions. By doing so, they help foster independence and resilience in their children, preparing them for the challenges ahead.
The shift from childhood to adulthood is often seen as an abrupt transition, one moment, a child, and the next, an “adult.” However, this sudden change, marked by turning 18 or graduating from high school, does not magically equip the individual with the maturity or clarity needed for life’s complexities. Society tends to place unrealistic expectations on this newly labeled “adult,” assuming that they should have everything figured out overnight.
What’s often overlooked is that this “adult” may not have been given the proper foundation to make informed decisions. Many parents have never taken the time for career counseling or aptitude assessments to understand their child’s strengths, interests, and potential career paths. Instead, expectations are based on comparisons and assumptions, without recognizing that the child was never equipped with the tools to truly explore and determine what career options might be most suitable for them. A child does not lose their sense of self or confidence through an aptitude assessment. On the contrary, such an assessment provides the child with a clearer understanding of their strengths and areas of interest, ultimately helping them find their place in the world. This process ensures that they can compete on an equal footing with others whose intellect and abilities align with their own.
While it is often emphasized that a child must be taught how to navigate the world, certain crucial life skills are not innate they must be imparted by those who guide them. It is the responsibility of the wiser, more experienced adults in their lives to provide a roadmap for their development. When the time comes for the child to transition into adulthood, it is important to ensure that they are prepared to face the world on their own, not as a child who needs continuous direction, but as a confident, self-reliant adult equipped with the necessary tools for success.
We are lagging when it comes to making our child’s independence, not just financially, but also in terms of their mindset, which often holds them back from making informed decisions. While quality education remains our greatest achievement, the question of how and in what ways it should be attained is still unclear. We are so focused on the pursuit of quality education that we end up planning every aspect of our children’s lives. Post-school hours are often consumed by tuition classes, not just for subjects where they need help, but in a manner that leaves little room for personal growth or exploration.
In the rush between school and tuition, children find themselves thinking, “I’ll catch up on this in tuition,” only to return home, tired and drained, believing they will study on their own later—but never truly doing so. Providing a child with endless resources does not necessarily make one a great parent. In fact, we often miss the point that by doing so, we may be setting a poor example for future generations. A balanced life involves exploring one’s potential and living fully, not just switching between school, tuition, and home, with little time for personal growth or self-reflection.
A child shouldn’t be thrust out of their comfort zone overnight by being forced to make major life decisions. Parents or guardians must take the time to understand their child’s interests and guide them through their journey, rather than simply standing by as spectators. Children need to be shown the right map for their journey, introduced to the many facets of the world that shape who we are and the environment around us. They should not be left to navigate a monotonous cycle from school to tuition, and back home.
When education lacks practicality, it stifles a child’s imagination and leads to unnecessary fear of subjects they could otherwise excel in. Time doesn’t wait for parents or guardians to make decisions about their child’s future. It’s only when the child is left at home for a year or more, facing anxious mornings and worrying about keeping up with their peers, that the true weight of uncertainty becomes clear. This cycle of uncertainty doesn’t end there. It continues, perpetuating feelings of doubt and stress. This is where career counseling becomes invaluable. It isn’t as challenging as it seems, sometimes, all it takes is a few hours on a Sunday to sit with your child, listen to their plans, and follow up with practical steps.
By conducting aptitude assessments, you can help your child understand their strengths, interests, and potential. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to ensure your child can achieve their dreams, but more importantly, you must help them navigate a world that doesn’t wait for anyone. While no one can predict the future with certainty, we can make informed decisions about the years ahead. To enjoy a fruitful future, we must plant the seed today. A future built on certainty and direction requires us to plant the seeds today.
We live in an age where opportunities are abundant, often just a scroll away. However, this limitless accessibility must be carefully channeled to serve our needs. Waiting for the “right time” to pursue these opportunities is a misconception. There is no perfect moment; the right time is whenever we decide to make it. As parents and guardians, it’s our responsibility to guide our children and help them navigate this journey. But once we have fulfilled our role, it’s time for the child to step up, take ownership of their future, and begin laying out a concrete plan. Only then can they move forward, step by step, towards achieving their goals.
During high school, it’s crucial for a student to strike a balance between various aspects of their life, preparing for what lies ahead, as they are the architects of their future. The goal is not just to understand what one desires, but to make each step count towards that vision. Success doesn’t come overnight; it’s the result of consistent effort over days, months, and even years. The journey will be filled with setbacks and failures, but it’s these struggles that shape the path toward achieving what once seemed out of reach.
When preparing for an exam, we carefully outline the syllabus and highlight key points, leaving no detail overlooked. However, when it comes to choosing a career, many of us allow life to unfold without a clear direction, letting ourselves be carried by the winds of comfort. Comfort will always be present, but so will challenges. It’s up to us to decide how much of each we welcome into our lives.
Hard work isn’t about aimlessly pushing ourselves, it’s about understanding the demands of the moment and adapting accordingly. Success comes from intentional effort and strategic planning, rather than simply waiting for opportunities to appear. No one can truly tell you what you are meant to be or what you should do. It is up to you to become a keen judge of your own characteristics and honestly assess your capabilities to secure a profession that aligns with your true self.
Understanding the concept of ‘self’ is crucial when undertaking any career. Recognizing one’s strengths and limitations is not an overt or immediate process; it is shaped by life’s experiences. It is through living both ordinary and extraordinary moments that we come to understand ourselves better, guiding us toward a fulfilling and meaningful career. Understanding oneself is crucial, as it encompasses self-awareness and self- understanding. Clarity may not always come easily for a child, but instead of allowing them to live aimlessly; they should be given the opportunity to take charge of their life with the guidance of an elder until they are ready to make independent decisions.
In today’s world, we have domains such as career counseling and guidance, designed to help individuals navigate their paths. When used effectively, these resources can provide tailored support to meet specific needs. However, getting lost in the process of trying to figure out who we truly want to be can lead to a cycle of confusion, where the desire to be everything results in achieving nothing.
While it’s natural for a child to dream of various career options, it is essential to recognize that constantly shifting from one aspiration to another – from wanting to be a pilot, to an engineer, and then aspiring to take the UPSC – is an unrealistic career plan. Dreaming big is good, but it should be grounded in practical steps and focused aspirations that align with one’s skills and interests. The path to achieving one’s career aspirations can take various forms, but it requires careful planning and dedication.
For instance, a child interested in becoming a pilot or working in aerospace could pursue a realistic path by first studying engineering, then specializing in aerospace, and eventually preparing for the UPSC exams. This plan begins during high school when the child selects subjects that align with their long-term goals, ensuring they meet the admission criteria for the relevant university programs. To navigate this path effectively, the child should start by researching potential colleges that offer their desired field of study. They should also understand the admission criteria, required scores, and deadlines. This information is essential for the child to assess the resources they need and develop a concrete plan for gaining admission to their chosen university.The process doesn’t end once a child enters university. Preparing for further degrees or certifications also requires similar forethought and preparation. By continuing to investigate educational options, the child can ensure they stay on track toward their goal.
One of the most valuable tools in guiding a child’s career journey is career counseling, which helps them identify their strengths and weaknesses through various assessments. These assessments include aptitude tests, which focus on language, spatial reasoning, and cognitive skills, and personality assessments that help understand traits and values, guiding the child toward compatible career paths. Skills assessments are also crucial, as they highlight existing abilities and areas for improvement, providing a clearer understanding of the child’s potential. Career aptitude tests further evaluate strengths, weaknesses, and motivational factors, aligning the child’s abilities with their career goals. By undergoing these steps, a child can create a comprehensive, realistic career plan that sets them on a path to success while reducing the uncertainty of future decisions. Although these tests are available online, it is advisable to have them conducted by a certified professional, as they have the expertise to interpret the results accurately.
Career indecisiveness among adolescents has raised significant concerns, with studies linking it to increasing levels of anxiety, poor social adjustment, and even depression. Children often experience feelings of helplessness, stress, and a lack of purpose. These issues shouldn’t just be subjects of research; they should be actively addressed in our daily lives. The importance of seeking guidance and forming a clear career plan cannot be overstated. Many young individuals experience regret, wondering if they had made better choices or followed a different path. To help alleviate these dilemmas, introducing a career guide early on is crucial. A career guide provides a holistic understanding of what lies ahead and how to actively work towards achieving those goals.
Hard work, when directed with purpose, never goes to waste; it leaves behind a legacy of effort and growth. Career counseling is not only beneficial for children who are uncertain about their future but also for those who are already confident in their path. It can help them expand their vision and discover new, innovative ways to achieve goals that once seemed too unrealistic to dream of.
(Author is student of clinical psychology. Email: [email protected])
