Humans as social beings, by and large, don’t exhibit total indifference to each other amid the accidental or catastrophic circumstances which they pass through on the individual or collective levels. All human beings, with varying degrees, reach out to each other when they face challenging situations. This process of reaching out to each other could either be emotional or practical or both. The diversity of this outreach depends upon the temperament of the person or persons who reach out to those who are in trouble.
Sometimes the person who offers the helping hand to his fellow being tries to understand the problem or trouble of the other person from the angle and vision of the troubled person. In such a situation, he doesn’t become judgmental vis-à-vis the person concerned or the problem he is troubled or struggling with. This approach on the part of the helper makes the person being helped feel at home and he, at times, himself comes up with a solution of the problem.
On the other hand, some people try to help the other person in quite a different way. What they try to do is that they approach the problem of the struggling person from their personal perspective or viewpoint. It doesn’t mean that they do not offer the help. They do reach out to the troubled person but this outreach is somewhat of an indifferent nature. The help is offered in such a way that the person who is helped is not in a position to gain confidence in himself with respect to his potentialities as a human being.
These two approaches exhibited on the part of the helper can be respectively put forth as empathy and sympathy which, more often than not, are being used interchangeably. However, there is a vast difference in the purport of these terms. Actually, empathy is people’s ability to share and understand each other’s experiences. This sharing, however, cannot take place unless the people concerned are aware of these feelings, experiences and emotions. And, when these experiences are mutually known only then can these people assess how much compassion and understanding they can offer each other.
Sympathy, on the other hand, can be understood from its root “sym” (meaning “together”) and “pathos” (meaning “feelings” or “emotions”). Thus, sympathy stands for sharing the feelings of another person. For example, when a person experiences sadness when someone close is experiencing grief or loss, we say he is sympathizing with the other. It is thus an inclination of two persons to think or feel alike or it is simply their emotional or intellectual accord. The process of sympathizing comes into effect because the persons concerned have such kind of an affinity, association, or relationship that whatever affects one naturally affects the other. As such, sympathy is a feeling of loyalty and a tendency to favour or support.
Thus, empathy is a more general feeling for another person irrespective of the other’s group affiliations and social or community background. Its canvas is so vast that it takes everyone, suffering in one way or the other, into its ambit. Its target, therefore, is the whole humanity. This is because, with respect to susceptibility to danger and damage, every human being is helpless or “meek” (lowly), to use the Biblical term (Zechariah, 9:9). This “meekness” demands that the help offered should be unconditional, based only on the basis of the common ground of humanity. This attitude seems much like the “Love Thy Neighbour” Commandment recorded by Gospel of Matthew as Jesus’ answer to a question that: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shall love thy neighbour as thyself.” (22:37-39)
This unconditional love and support, however, is not always workable. This is because a person by becoming an agent of error, evil, sin and transgression needs to be reminded that an order and organization (religious or human) established by the society should never be lost sight of and should always be taken care of. Such a person would be cautioned that “sin and sinner” remain separable only to a certain degree. When all limits are crossed sinner would be condemned together with the sin. Still at this juncture, sympathy would be open for such a person so that the doors of righteousness are kept open for him.
This pattern offeeling of “togetherness” and “love” has been designed by God Himself. The Qur’an has used the terms ra’fah and rahmah respectively for empathy and sympathy by dint of which this pattern could be understood. Such is the significance of these attitudes that God Himself deals with His servants through ra’fah and rahmah. That is why God declares in the Qur’an: “What can Allah gain by your punishment?” (Qur’an, 4:147) Moreover, it has been said that: “If Allah were to punish men for their wrong-doing, He would not leave, on the (earth), a single living creature!”(Qur’an, 16:61)
Since the Prophets (‘AS) of God have been the embodiments of empathy and sympathy, therefore, their beseeching before and invocations to their Lord on behalf of their people reflect the common ground of humanity which is susceptible to error and mistake and, so requires forgiveness of God. This is how Prophet Ibrahim (‘AS) keeps open the door of mercy and forgiveness for his erroneous people: “He then who follows my (ways) is of me, and that disobeys me, -but Thou art indeed Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 14:36) Jesus, on the Day of Judgement, would thus speak of his erring followers: “If Thou dost punish them, they are Thy servants: if Thou dost forgive them, Thou art the Exalted in power, the Wise.” (Qur’an, 5:118)
The Merciful Lord has made the Law of Mercy “incumbent” upon Himself: “Your Lord hath inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.” (Qur’an, 6:54) The Prophet Muhammad (SA‘AS), as the Last Prophet of God, “a Mercy for all the Worlds” (Qur’an, 21:107) and “most kind and merciful” (Qur’an, 9:128) has demonstrated and symbolized empathy and sympathy through his sublime character. He has also enumerated the theoretical and practical implications of empathy and sympathy through these nine principles:
- Fear of God in private and in public;
- Justness, whether in anger or in calmness;
- Moderation in both poverty and affluence;
- That I should join hands with those who break away from me;
- And, give to those who deprive me;
- And, forgive those who wrong me;
- And, that my silence should be meditation;
- And, my words remembrance of God;
- And, my vision keen observation!
(Author is Assistant Professor, HED, J&K. Feedback at: [email protected])
