PERSPECTIVE
In the contemporary educational set up, exams turn to be tossing. From parents to students, the stress level shoots up to the peak of fatality among them. Everything around them gets miserably disturbed. The family atmosphere, work in office, business, fun and play- all experience the undesirable changes. The reason is sense of stiff competition and what I say ‘criminal’ comparison, if the stuff is unwrapped analytically. For the children, the stress is more direct and obvious. Exams crush them, sometimes unnecessarily, and they start thinking whether they could perform better than their mates and peers, neighbours and relatives and many more. Competition is a spirit to ascend but focusing on competitors more than competition is jealousy, a bad thing for health.
How to rut the figures, chronology, interpretations and perspectives in Social Sciences, make up the deficiency in Maths, find out the solution of mechanics and optics in Physics and, how to do all this in the shortest time? This gushes through the minds of children and often piles up the levels of stress and strain.
As understood and deliberated by many, I too wrote and spoke at several occasions and write again today that it is actually a berating of conventional system of examination and evaluation which has tirelessly been hammering for decades together. It not only terrifically haunts the students but bends to evaluate their holistic achievements, as well.
Systemic rot is there but the erratic stimulation from society also generates mess and stress. Unwanted, unscientific and unethical standards of efficiency, learning and performance for the students set by the people are unnatural and much more harmful. Unfortunately, these are popularly viewed as the sole parameters and indicators of success which they aren’t, often. Surprisingly, this is still being considered and weighed in career making opportunities.
The rat race is so rampant that every student strives his hardest to be at first position, that is only one in each class. There are indeed push factors from the parents and family behind this crazy mentality in which both- wards and parents, live under brain bursting pressure which is sure to tell upon their health and habit. No one seems to be contended at number second. In most of the cases, this ruins the social relations among the batch mates and creates cramps at larger levels in society as well.
Sociologists, Child Psychologists and academics have been putting in their best to make a paradigm shift in the credulous approach of society – thinking only of exams, results and achievement charts. Both, the reforms in exams and softening the stiff mental alignments of society viz a viz the figures of the children in exams and tests need to be made student-friendly. But, Finland is still far away and the mood of state and society seems to take time to change. Some reforms are placed in NEP- 2020 for sure but to see them pragmatically on ground is yet to be a challenge.
In this static and stereotyped society, right now, we have to be adjusted and accommodated in the scenario we are in but surely need some ‘home made’ simple remedies, apart from the appropriate counseling to be ensured by teachers at institutional level.
Let parents be free from fear and stress when talking to their children during exams. Because children can smell even subtle feelings of their parents quite easily and do not need this extra burden on them during exam times. Parents should recall their own feelings related to exams and must learn from them in the present super sensitive times.
They need to reduce their own stress levels associated with the exams of their children, so focus on what works best for you in the situation. Engage with some meaningful activity that can release nervous tension and ease the mind. Support your child with sports activities. Depending on your child’s levels of organization, it might be helpful to go through their study plan, helping them to break up their work into manageable pieces. Apart from excelling in studies, this is to make sure they schedule enough social time for a healthy balance.
Never ignore the changes in behavior. As parents we should be enough vigilant to see how our children are responding to and managing their stress levels. If there are any notable changes in how they behave then have a dialogue and tell them how you can help. This simple act may be a potion in itself, as your child will feel listened to and supported. See your child is eating normally or otherwise. Often exam pressures mean your child eats snack foods and misses out on a nutritious and balanced diet. Wrong diet leads to poor health and poor health results in under performance in these so called exams.
Children often want to study late and for longer hours (cramming) which eats into sleeping time. Make them understood that It is very important that children have a sufficient amount of sleep so they can function normally which is a simple physiological fact. Because proper levels of sleep aid the memory process and make children less cranky. Teach them the moral of old maxim of sleeping and rising early to become wise.
Believe it strongly that exams at lower standards are not the ‘be all and end all’ of your child’s life. We are more defined by how we act and respond to life events and situations than by the figures we achieve on a test. If one door is closed, ten others are waiting to enter. We only have to explore them because the world is much bigger than what we apparently perceive it.
Don’t hover over your child like a drone with too many demands at this time as any weird argument will be entirely counterproductive for you, your child and your “dream figures” in exams. Therefore, most of all, make sure your child knows you are there to support them unconditionally regardless of the exam results.
Be positive to encourage your child to greet those who have scored more than him/her in exams. Remember, this would bring a big change at the end of the day. Finally, taking care is prospective which every parent must do. Be a mentor, friend and guide, for sure. Be mindful and serious too about the career of your child but never try to act like God.
(Author is a regular columnist of Rising Kashmir and can be reached at: [email protected])
