The mother-child relationship is one of the most important and influential relationships in a child’s life. It is the first relationship that a child experiences and plays a significant role in shaping the child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development. From the moment a child is born, the relationship between mother and child begins to develop. The early experiences that a child has with their mother can shape their attachment style, emotional development, and cognitive development. A healthy mother-child relationship is characterized by love, warmth, empathy, and emotional bonding. Mothers who are sensitive and responsive to their child’s needs can create a secure attachment with their child, which promotes healthy emotional and social development. On the other hand, a dysfunctional mother-child relationship can have negative effects on a child’s development. A mother who is emotionally distant, neglectful, or abusive can cause a child to develop an insecure attachment style, which can lead to emotional and behavioral problems later in life.
Children thrive when they have a secure and positive relationship with people, especially their parents. Studies have shown that early childhood is a period in which developmentally, a child is learning a lot from their surroundings and the people around them. This is the child’s window of learning which will impact their growing years. Therefore, as the main presence in a child’s life at this point, a mother’s relationship with her child is crucial. A mother plays multiple roles in a child’s development, as she is a teacher in every aspect of a child’s developmental growth – social, emotional, physical, cognitive and independence. There are various ways in which mothers impact their children-
1. Moms can literally change your brain: A mother’s influence resonates both physically and mentally. Maternal support, in turn, affects brain size. In a 2021 study, scientists found school-aged children who were positively supported by their mothers had a larger hippocampus than those who were not.
2. Positive relationships with a mother can benefit a child throughout a lifetime: The trajectory of a life is profoundly influenced by a mother, whether or not the relationship with a mom is a good one. In a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, scientists found positive interactions with a mom within a child’s first 16 years were associated with staying in school longer, having better episodic memory, and better marital satisfaction in adulthood.
3. The neural connection between moms and babies makes a “mega-network.”: A 2020 study in the journal NeuroImage found that when a mother’s emotional state is positive, their brain becomes more connected to their baby’s brain. This was determined by scanning the brains of moms and their infants via a method called dual electroencephalography.
4. A mom’s voice activates the brain: Brain scans of children suggest we not only prefer the sounds of our mother’s voices over the voices of others, but our minds have evolved to uniquely respond to those sounds.
5. Talking to mom can change how you see a situation: In a research talking through the experience with moms led to a productive “re-authoring” of a difficult moment. Talking to your mother helps view your story in a new light thus helping improve well-being.
6. A Mother helps develop a child’s social and emotional skills by assisting them to get through everyday challenges. She also provides her child with emotional support to boost their self-confidence. Parenting in the home plays an essential role in foundation learning and social adjustment outside the home. Therefore, a mother’s part is always the foremost.
7. Creating a secure attachment: A mother who responds to her child’s needs, provides comfort, and is emotionally available can help create a secure attachment with her child. This attachment can help the child feel safe, loved, and supported, and can promote healthy emotional development.
8. Additionally effective communication, empathy, and understanding can help create a healthy and positive bond between mother and child which often impacts the kind of the nature of relationships an individual has throughout their life.
9. Modelling positive behaviours: A mother who models positive behaviours such as empathy, kindness, and respect can help her child develop these same traits. Children often learn through observation and imitation, and a mother who demonstrates positive behaviours can help her child develop these same behaviours.
10. Providing emotional support and validation: A mother who provides emotional support and validation to her child can help them develop a positive self-image and a sense of self-worth. This can also help the child feel heard, understood, and accepted, which can promote positive mental health outcomes
11. Attachment: The mother-child relationship forms the foundation for a child’s attachment style. The attachment style developed during early childhood can influence the child’s ability to form relationships later in life.
12. Emotional Development: The mother-child relationship provides emotional support to the child, which helps in developing emotional intelligence, self-esteem, and confidence.
13. Cognitive Development: The mother-child relationship plays a critical role in cognitive development. Children who have a secure attachment with their mother tend to perform better academically and have better problem-solving skills.
14. Socialization: Mothers play a significant role in teaching children social skills such as sharing, cooperation, and empathy.
15. Health: Studies have shown that a positive mother-child relationship can have a positive impact on a child’s physical health. Children who have a close relationship with their mother tend to be healthier and have a lower risk of developing mental health issues.
Thomas Alva Edison, the renowned inventor and scientist of electric light, said, “Mother is the Ideal Teacher.” He did not get proper education through any school. Instead, his mother taught him, guided him, and inspired him with an interest in science. Malcolm X said, “The mother is the child’s first teacher. The message a mother gives her child, that child gives to the world.”
A mother guides her child toward finding a true sense of self. The teaching of the mother to her children can be called divine teaching.
A mother teaches her child everything she knows, from talking and walking to living a complete life. She also educates a child about discipline for a better living. Right from getting up to sleeping, a mother teaches all she knows.
Here are some key psychological factors that can impact the mother-child relationship:
Attachment Theory: Attachment theory explains how early experiences with caregivers shape a child’s attachment style and affect their relationships throughout their lifetime. The mother-child relationship is the primary relationship that shapes a child’s attachment style.
Emotional Bonding: Emotional bonding between mother and child is critical for building a strong and healthy relationship. Emotional bonding begins with eye contact, touch, and nurturing behaviors that promote a sense of safety and security in the child.
Communication: Communication is an essential aspect of the mother-child relationship. Effective communication helps to build a deeper understanding between mother and child, which can promote a healthy relationship.
Parenting Styles: Different parenting styles can impact the mother-child relationship. Authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative parenting styles can each have unique effects on the mother-child relationship and can impact the child’s overall development.
Maternal Mental Health: Maternal mental health can have a significant impact on the mother-child relationship. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can affect the quality of the relationship and the child’s development.
Parenting Style and positive parenting is very important in today’s time. There is “one-size fits all” when it comes to parenting, we change and adapt as our children grow. However, following some simple positive parenting tips can help when it comes to your relationship with your child.
Warm, loving interactions
Treat every interaction as an opportunity to connect with your child. Be warm in your expressions, give eye contact, smile and encourage interaction.
Have boundaries, rules & consequences
Children need structure and guidance. Talk to your children about what you expect of them and make sure they understand.
Listen and empathise with your child
Acknowledge your child’s feelings, show them you understand, and reassure that you are there to help them whenever they have problems.
Problem Solving
Help your child to problem solve. Be a good role model and show them how to behave through your own actions. When you work with your children to find solutions they learn how to deal with difficulties in a appropriate way.
Strengthening the Parent-Child Relationship
Forming a connection with your child is important to developing a strong parent-child relationship. Here are some tips to help with strengthening your relationship with your children.
Tell your child you love them
Of course you love your children but tell them every day, no matter what age they are. Even on difficult days let your child know you didn’t like the behaviour but you love them unconditionally. A simple “I love you” can do a lot to strengthen a relationship.
Playing together
is so important to children’s development. Young children can develop many skills through the power of play. As well as being fun and helping you develop your relationship with your child, it can help children’s language skills, emotions, creativity and social skills.
Be Available
Make time to talk to your child without any distractions, even 10 minutes a day can make a big difference in establishing good communication habits. Turn off the TV, put away technology and spend some quality time together.
Eating meals together
Eating together as a family sets the stage for conversation. Encourage no technology at the table and enjoy each other’s company.
Listen and empathise
Connection starts with listening. Try and see things from your child’s perspective and foster mutual respect.
Spend one on one time with children. If you have more than one child try and make a point of spending individual time with each of them. Quality, individual time with your child can strengthen your bond, build their self-esteem and let them know they are valued.
Overall, research indicates that a positive and supportive mother-child relationship is crucial for a child’s psychological development, including their emotional regulation, social skills, and cognitive functioning. Understanding and promoting healthy mother-child relationships is an important area of study and intervention in psychology.
