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Rising Kashmir > Blog > Opinion > Child Care and Mindful Parenting
Opinion

Child Care and Mindful Parenting

Parents, wider society and educational institutions -- all can work shoulder to shoulder for the much-needed good education of children

SHEIKH SHABIR KULGAMI
Last updated: June 19, 2025 2:05 am
SHEIKH SHABIR KULGAMI
Published: June 19, 2025
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Can we grow crops without preparing soil? A big no shall be a wiser answer. Likewise, can we raise children, our future, without preparing and providing the atmosphere which is wholesome and welcoming for their holistic progress: socially, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Education — the broadening of mental horizon and triumph over the mundane — is imperative; for adults and children alike. Unless children are gifted with a stress-free atmosphere , both at home and away, in chaos are bound to end up the educational activities because  all work and no play scenario proves demotivating and disappointing in effect towards quality education.

Today, children are brought up very differently than about twenty to twenty-five years ago. Now children spend time on their computers and cell phones. However, the children of yesteryears used to play outside in open, an exercise which enriched them with the wealth of happiness and health. That also enabled them to face failures with patience and boldness.

Very useful is the modern technology but it prevents children from playing outdoors, exercising, socializing, and experiencing a sense of belonging to a community. An all- important step for successful parenting is to return to basics so that children play and enjoy good health. Also learn discipline, tolerance and cooperation.

Notably, educational and moral institutions can better teach the utility of sports for a child .In most schools, sports facilities for the children are awaiting –playgrounds or proper playgrounds and inadequate sports materials are in greater demand. Though physical Education Teachers (PETs) are available at most of the schools, they are either unwilling or unable to involve children in sports.

Or if they are willing, the school administration deems it better to engage these teachers in the normal teaching- learning process to ensure the smooth conduct of academic activities. This situation can be altered once sports and games gain primary importance in both the administrative and non-administrative aspects.

Without such facilities, the physical, mental and spiritual development of children becomes a casualty. Resultantly, neither parents nor schools deal with children in line with the latters’ needs and aspirations. Children have very impressionable minds. And when their raw energies do not get channelized properly in the absence of sports facilities, they end up as social unfits. Strict lessons of discipline and hard rules are failing, as time passes, to correct the truancy.

 

This useless practice can only be corrected with the help of sports facilities. What worsens the situation is the pre-occupation of children on computers, cell phones and television in the absence of out-door games. Excessive dependence on these gadgets affects the health of children and their studies.

A painful exercise is bringing up, in such an atmosphere, children. Some psychologists at the Harvard University have studied how to bring up a child in these changing times. According to them, there are several basic elements for bringing up a child. Some important steps for raising good children are worthy of mention. One, these researchers say that we need to tell our children that they are a top priority in our life. To bring them up properly, giving them things, feeding them, and keeping them safe is essential but not enough.

Two, we need to encourage our children to share their stories with us about their friends, school, and homework. Make them feel comfortable to come and talk to us about what is happening in their life. Three, we should speak to their teachers, tutors, coaches, and other caretakers to find out if there is a change in their behavior.

Four, spending some quality time with our children is essential in order to develop a strong bond with them, to hear their thoughts and feelings, to observe their strengths and weaknesses, and to make them feel loved and important. Five, we need to devote as much time to our children as possible. Interact with them person-to-person, play with them, or read a book together.

Six, we need to inculcate in children the habit of expressing gratitude in social interaction in whatever position they are. Teaching such habits need to be shown in our behaviour. The children need to see that gratitude is an incredible gift. Whenever you give your kids tasks or chores, you need to express how grateful you are for their performance.

The Harvard researchers further say that the children who are engaged in the habit of expressing gratitude are not only more compassionate, generous, helpful, and forgiving but also more likely to be healthy and happy. We should always acknowledge and honor our children for their accomplishments. So, be thankful for the small things they perform, which are not connected to school or work.

Then, we should take children to a homeless shelter and expose them to the less fortunate ones. By doing so, we will teach them to be compassionate and emphatic, to help others, and to value and appreciate the things they have in their life. Moreover, we should teach our children the skills for problem solving. That will make them independent of our help, enabling them to solve their own problems.

And finally, we must let them share their issues with us and help them to make the best choice. Also, we shouldn’t pressurize our children to focus only on success because this will stress them out and make them unhappy. It is also fruitful to let our children learn from their mistakes and thus become useful citizens. That we learn the best through trial and error is what experts opine.

 

For children, good guidance and counseling reflected in the behavior of adults –parents, teachers and others –is essential.  That can potentially shape kids into responsible and responsive citizens— the citizens who can live up to the challenges of life effectively and efficiently.

That life is a gift and one need to contribute one’s bit for the good of humanity regardless of the religion or region, must be taught and practiced. Parents, wider society and educational institutions — all can work shoulder to shoulder for the much-needed good education of children.

 

(Author is RK columnist and teacher by profession. Feedback:                 [email protected])

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