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Rising Kashmir > Blog > Opinion > Deconstructing the Arbitrary Notion of Soulmate
Opinion

Deconstructing the Arbitrary Notion of Soulmate

DR. BILAL AHMAD DAR
Last updated: July 6, 2024 12:32 am
DR. BILAL AHMAD DAR
Published: July 6, 2024
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Who is our soulmate? That’s a great and significant question! The question, although clichéd and hackneyed, is still quite significant, seminal and timely. Most of the people have ready answers and would say in one voice: our spouses, our siblings, our intimate friends, our parents etc. are our soulmates. Although these answers are not thoroughly wrong, but at the same time they are not always true in most of the situations.  We should rethink these answers. We must pose this question to ourselves individually in isolation, for isolation is highly meditative, educative, and enlightening.

Health, they say, is wealth. This threadbare and trite dictum is quite connotative and veritable. Let’s substantiate this dictum. Simply put, a healthy man, as we know, enjoys everything in life. He relishes and enjoys even mediocre things and bland events of life. In comparison to a healthy man, a sick person always feels isolated, betrayed, dismal and negatively obsessed with himself. Sumptuous feasts and glamorous events sound to him dull and dismal. A healthy man easily befriends other people and vice-versa. On the other hand, an unhealthy person always finds himself behind a glass ceiling that separates him from the rest of the world and remains caged in his world of despondency and helplessness.

Health is arguably the most important aspect of life. It impacts everything we do, from our physical capabilities to our mental well-being and our ability to form strong relationships. When you feel good both physically and mentally, the world seems brighter. You have the energy to embrace experiences, connect with loved ones, and make a positive impact on your community. Good health is the foundation for a life brimming with joy, purpose, and endless possibilities. We all know that relatives and relationships matter in life. Without them life is but a joyless event. Relatives and relationships beautify our lives and make us feel emotionally strong. We do share our secrets, sorrows, and joys with our friends, relatives and relationships. But the question that needs an address here is: Are our relatives, our relationships, and friends our true soulmates? The answer to this seemingly quotidian question is: No with a Capital ‘N’.

It is our own healthy self that is our soulmate in the true sense of the term. Why is our own healthy self our only soulmate? Because when health of a person cripples, he becomes a kind of burden to his family. Most of the people will strongly disagree with this proposition. The disagreement of the people with this proposition stands deconstructed in present times. Denying the fact is but a kind of arrogance, dishonesty and namby-pamby sentimentalism. We know what was being done to the so-called soulmates in the COVID-19 pandemic. That pandemic has made us kind of untouchables and racists. We distanced ourselves from the infected to save ourselves from the deadly virus and did not care a fig about those who were engulfed by the inimical virus. Doing so actually exposed our inherent disloyalty and perfidious nature in us.

In real life world, we can cite umpteen examples where children desert their parents in their senility, where spouses betray one another; where people burn bridges for each other, where siblings cut blood ties over property disputes; and where lovers jilt each other for some petty issues.

When health of a person deteriorates in any way, the relatives, relationships, and friends start distancing themselves from him in most of the cases. It is a bitter truth and a stark reality. This reminds me of the novel “The Metamorphosis” by the French novelist Franz Kafka. The novel is very interesting and emotional. The main character of the novel is Gregor Samsa, a travelling salesman, a sole breadwinner in the family. One morning, when Gregor Samsa wakes, he finds himself transformed into a horrible vermin. He is not able to stand up. The focal event in the entire novel is how his parents and his sister, on seeing him changed into vermin, loath and betray Samsa. Samsa used to love his sister very dearly but as the health of Samsa deteriorates, the same sister insists about getting rid of him. The sister no longer takes care of him. He is quarantined in a separate room and he dies of starvation and thirst. This is the sad part of the story in the novel. Who is the soulmate of Gregor Samsa? His own health. His parents and his loved sister desert him at a very critical juncture in his life.

The Gregor Samsa event in the novel deconstructs the old and false idea and definition of our soulmate. Most of the people feel themselves like Gregor Samsa when their relatives etc. abandon them at the time of any calamity or disease. Like Gregor Samsa, nobody except our health is our soulmate. Every relationship abandons and betrays a person when something bad happens to his life and that is why relatives and relationships have been described by Sir Allama Iqbal as: ‘butanay wahamo-guman’ (the false and fake idols)

By citing examples from literature and real life, I am only substantiating my argument. I am not discarding the notion of relationships, I am only trying to make you re-think the older notion that we falsely harbor in our minds about the taken for granted term soulmate. We should take care of our health every time. We should act reasonably in order to save ourselves from every calamity that is out to eat away the vitals of our life for nobody is our soulmate except our own health.

When wealth is lost nothing is lost. When health is lost everything is lost. So, let’s take care of our health, let’s treasure this treasure by avoiding those things and acts that leave bad effect on our health both physically and mentally. We must keep in mind that health isn’t just about the absence of illness; it’s a vibrant tapestry woven from physical, mental, and social well-being. It’s the bedrock on which we build a fulfilling life, and prioritizing it unlocks a treasure chest of benefits. We should take care of our health on priority basis.

Remember, taking care of one’s life isn’t selfish; it’s essential. By prioritizing your health, you’re investing in a brighter future, a happier you, and the potential to live life to the fullest. Remember that bravery and sanity lies in saving one’s life not in imperiling it in any way. Thereby hangs a tale!

(The Author is English Lecturer. He has done Ph.D and M.Phil in English Literature from AMU. Feedback: [email protected])

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