People love to say “relationships are tough”. It sounds like an overused trope but is also fairly accurate. Even when people gel really well, tension and daily life triggers can cause issues that seem tiresome or unworkable. Relationship counselling can help people in these bothersomesituations to work through their problems, move beyond them, and be better partners overall.
Relationship Counselling : WHAT?
Relationship counselling, often known as couples counselling or couples therapy, is a kind of psychotherapy aimed at assisting people in improving their romantic relationships. Couples can engage with a therapist to address difficulties in their relationship, enhance communication, improve relationships, and resolve disagreements.
Relationship therapy is frequently used to resolve difficulties, although it may be beneficial at any stage of a relationship. Counselling that improves communication and connection can still assist people in healthy, happy relationships.
Relationship Counselling: WHEN?
Many individuals assume that relationship counselling should only be sought when a separation or divorce is imminent. However, this is frequently too little, too late. Relationship counselling should begin as soon as your difficulties begin to interfere with your everyday life. Here are several indicators that you should seek advice:
- You have trouble expressing your feelings to one another
- You have one or more unsolvable disagreement
- There is withdrawal, criticism, or contempt in your interactions
- A stressful event has shaken your daily life
- You have trouble making decisions together
- You have experienced infidelity, addiction, or abuse
- You want a stronger relationship
Keep in mind that there are no bad reasons to seek relationship counselling. Some couples begin treatment as soon as they marry, even if there are no evident difficulties, in order to lay a firm foundation and avoid significant problems from emerging. Counsellors may assist you in becoming better communicators, developing strong interpersonal skills, and increasing the happiness of your family.
Remember that the typical couple waits six years before seeking counselling. This is a long time to let problems grow; problematic relationships are tough to save at this point. Instead, it is preferable to recognise issues early and seek help as soon as feasible.
Relationship issues are not confined to romantic ones, despite the fact that this is the most common reason individuals seek relationship counselling.
Premarital Counselling
Premarital Counselling is a sort of relationship counselling that assists couples in preparing to make a long-term commitment. This sort of counselling focuses on assisting couples in developing a strong and healthy connection prior to marriage and identifying any possible difficulties that may lead to problems later on.
Some of the issues that may be taken up during the courseof premaritalcounsellingare:
- Communication
- Finances
- Family attachments
- Parenting decisions include whether or not to have children and how to raise them.
- Responsibilities and roles
- Sex and romance
- Beliefs and values
This form of relationship counselling may help to create realistic expectations and build healthy communication skills, which can help a marriage get off to a strong start.
Relationship Therapist : HOW TO FIND
Although most people’s first instinct when looking for a therapist is to search the internet, asking for recommendations from people you know can be a more efficient method to get started. If you reside in a city, there are possibly hundreds of trained therapists to choose from, which can be intimidating.
If you can’t get references from individuals you know, there are numerous other options, such as professional directories, to discover a skilled therapist.It is imperative to figure out if your newcounsellor suits your needs, style, and budget. Client-therapist relationships can affect lives in many intense ways, and you should decide wisely.
Online Relationship Counselling
If traditional face-to-face psychotherapy isn’t working for you and your spouse, internet counselling might be a terrific alternative. You may wish to attempt online counselling for a variety of reasons:
- Your partner and you reside in separate cities. This might apply to persons in long-distance relationships or who are separated and contemplating a permanent break. Online counselling services allow both couples to engage even if they live apart.
- You travel a lot for work. People can benefit from therapy regardless of how hectic their schedules are or where they are in the globe.
- Traditional treatment does not sit well with you or your partner. For some people, face-to-face counselling can be difficult, awkward, or even anxiety-inducing. Relationship therapy may be made more accessible via the use of web-based solutions.
Setting Expectations
The first few sessions will be devoted to your background and the challenges you’ve come to tackle. Be prepared to answer questions about your relationship, your parents, your childhood, and previous relationships. Your therapist may want to spend some time talking to everyone collectively as well as to each individual member.
Your treatment will proceed in accordance with your counsellor’s style and therapeutic approach. Emotionally-focused therapy is the most researched type of relationship therapy (EFT). EFT is based on attachment theory and tries to promote healthy interdependence among partner or family members.
Imago therapy and the Gottman approach are two more methods of relationship therapy. Inquire with your counsellor about the methods in which they have been educated and those they believe are most suited to your circumstances.
Tenets to make Relationship Therapy effective
Effective psychotherapy is dependent not just on the counsellor’s talents and expertise, but also on the couple’s willingness. There are several things you may do to improve the effectiveness of your relationship therapy.
Honesty is the best policy
Don’t feed lies to your your therapist. We lie at times because we don’t want to be criticised. However, your therapist’s role is to assist you rather than to critique you. Maintain your integrity, even when it is difficult.
Anything but a cakewalk
Therapy might be uncomfortable because you are finding new facts about yourself and your companion, and not all of them will be pleasant or cheerful. Working on yourself necessitates sitting with your anguish and admitting that you need to develop and evolve. Your therapist is there to assist you, but it is largely up to you to go and do the work.
Keep your ears open
It is critical to listen to what others have to say, whether you are undergoing relationship therapy with one individual or a big family group. Staying on the defensive and attempting to respond to everything that people say about your behaviour will only make things more challenging for everyone.
Put in the hard yards
Therapy occurs both during and between sessions. In between consultations, your counsellor may assign you homework or encourage you to experiment with different communication and interaction patterns. It will take time and work, but it will be worthwhile. In the end, the work that all parties in the partnership put in has a bearing in the therapy’s outcomes.
Don’t assume the therapist to function as a magician who will magically fix all of your issues. Consult early, participate genuinely in the endeavour, and complete the task.
You say aye, they say nay?
Even if you feel that counselling would help your relationship, your spouse may be unwilling to join. So, what are your options in this situation? It is critical to realise that you cannot compel your partner to attend counselling. All you can do in the end is see a therapist on your own and work through the challenges you’re dealing with as an individual.
