The thought of writing this article struck me hard for the reasons stated in it. I’ve quite often noticed that sons are looked down on by their fathers, and sisters take them for granted; since, they receive them as a blessing without making any requests or working on the prayer rug for days and nights. When my father’s former colleague paid him a visit, the man appeared to be very annoyed and agitated with his son—or rather, his only son. The period that I’m mentioning is January 2012, which is indeed a very long time ago. To be seriously candid and honest too, I didn’t like dad’s colleague an iota because I hate the parents to an infinite extent who talk against their children before others, and I hate those children who do the same.
You may not be acquainted with the fact that our society is surrounded with many parasites; they are people in different guises, and many among them wait at different places to find their prey—their target is lust, so they wait to find an opportunity to pass their numbers on or get the cell numbers of girls. 2) Are parasites of deceit and fraud; they aim to find an innocent, honest person and lure them with tales of falsehood to make their fortune. 3) Are those whom you find on the streets of the market sitting on the parapet– their target is to hurl spiteful malice on those who have passion and are looking forward to achieving something and rising above their level? Those are called parasites of failure, and they can be found on social media and online other social sites these days.
The reason for writing this article is for a girl who is a master’s student of mine. The girl who is furious yet sensitive—the girl, whom I observed is often lost in her ideas and thoughts, and when I would ask her a question, her reply would always come with a stumbling voice, which made me curious to identify and ask her the purpose behind her lack of buoyancy. Since it was against privacy and protocol to ask the person what was causing all that I was witnessing, I took a pause and waited for a few days to ask her, and on a fine day, I met her on the lawn and asked her the story behind her wandering attitude. I would not have taken interest; I would have let it go like every other teacher would have thought why I would do it; there was something that drove me towards her: the girl was exceptionally brilliant in her academics, always ready to unleash new routes, a keen listener, and a complete bibliophile.
That fine day, I tried to case-study her and asked her many questions after taking her consent. I asked her what keeps bothering her all the time and why I notice she is physically in the class but mentally somewhere else. I wanted to know about her family history, and I wanted to know many other things about her so I could have helped her as much as I could have. I felt she needed a counseling session, and she must be taught the song of life, which is full of falls and rises. I craved to tell her that life is not all roses, but there are thorns as well, and you have to side with them to find your way. I wanted to tell her so many things, but I couldn’t utter a single word among all of them when she told me her story. I became wordless and kept tight-lipped, and when she was done, all I could utter was, Allah is the best ‘Muhafiz’; don’t worry; He (swt) takes care of everything.
The girl told me that they are three sisters without any brother and that she is the elder sister and thus has the responsibility to shoulder her family’s affairs. The thoughtful girl stared at me with tearful eyes. She would pause after every word so that I might not only hear them but also feel them; girls are born sensitive, unlike boys, who hardly care whether the ship has a top-notch rudder or not.
“My father has reached retirement age; we have many liabilities to shoulder; we are three sisters, and the sole breadwinner is only my father. The thought of his retirement consumes me inside. I want to make an omelet soon in my life and be a shoulder to my family, a helping hand to my father, and tell him I have filled the space of his. Although it is an illusion that daughters can replace sons, they cannot—had that been the case, then there would have been no gender difference from Allah (swt).
A son is the protector of the family; he gives you the real image of society; he is a guardian for sisters and the strong pillar of the family; with a son, a father feels safe and secure; having a brother forces sisters to follow modesty. It’s the son who can shoulder the father’s coffin and visit his grave to recite the holy verse, not the daughters; for them, it’s not permissible. So it’s an illusion that daughters can replace sons; they never can, since the lineage of a family is carried forward by a son but not by a daughter.
When I visit the market to buy some household needs, I have to keep my head down and endure many unwanted things without replying back, but a son doesn’t have to go through all this.”
(The writer is a columnist at Rising Kashmir: Email: [email protected]/)
