In her famous poem “Cart Driver”, Padma Sachdev narrates that a bulbul hides itself in the bushes on hearing the sound of the wheels of a bullock-cart whose driver was asleep, snoring. Fearing that the hookah on the cart may overturn, the bulbul imagines the deeply silent forest on fire and hence its nest and — young ones. To save these hungry offspring’s, the bulbul seeks to fly fast to its nest.
However, the bird fails to lift itself out of fear. Do we, human beings, fear about the safety of our children as the bulbul does? While the children of today spend time on their computers and cell phones, the children of yesteryears used to play outside in open — an exercise which enriched them with the wealth of happiness and health. Neglecting the living style of children leads to a rise in an undesirable behaviour by them.
Although the present age of technology has won the hearts of modern people, it largely prevents children from playing outdoors, exercising, socializing, and experiencing a sense of belonging to a community. For successful parenting returning to basics is important so that children play and enjoy not only good health but also learn discipline, tolerance and cooperation, three essential virtues for the success of a state.
Speaking of the big role from our educational institutions, it is noteworthy that these institutions are better placed in making children aware about the importance of sports in their life. There is a lack of adequate sports facilities for children at the school level; there are no playgrounds or good playgrounds; minimum sports materials or guiding hands. Yet, the educational institutions can lead in educating children about the positive role of sports.
Physical Education Teachers (PETs) are available at most of the schools but they are either unwilling or unable to involve children in sports. And if they are willing, the school administration, in most cases, deems it better to engage these teachers in the normal teaching- learning process for the smooth conduct of academic activities. This situation can be altered once sports and games gain primary importance in both the administrative and non-administrative aspects.
Consequently, the physical, mental and spiritual development of children becomes a casualty. Such a state of affairs means that neither parents nor schools handle children as per their needs and aspirations. Children have very impressionable minds and are sensitive by nature and when their raw energies do not get channelized properly in the absence of sports facilities, they end up as social unfits.
At schools, we face a grave problem of truancy with the studies by the children. Strict lessons of discipline and hard rules are failing, as time passes, to correct the truancy. This useless practice can only be corrected with the help of sports facilities which keep children engaged and away from unacceptable behaviour.
What worsens the situation is the pre-dominant concentration of children on computers, cell phones and television in the absence of out -door games. Excessive dependence on these gadgets affects the health of children and their studies. Bringing up children in such an atmosphere is a painful exercise.
Some psychologists at the Harvard University have studied how to bring up a child in these changing times. According to them, there are several basic elements for bringing up a child. Some important steps for raising good children are worthy of mention.
One, these researchers say that we need to tell our children that they are a top priority in our life. To bring them up properly, giving them things, feeding them, and keeping them safe is essential but not enough.
Two, we need to encourage our children to share their stories with us about their friends, school, and homework. Make them feel comfortable to come and talk to us about what is happening in their life.
Three, we should speak to their teachers, tutors, coaches, and other caretakers to find out if there is a change in their behavior.
Four, spending some quality time with our children is must as well as essential in order to develop a strong bond with them, to hear their thoughts and feelings, to observe their strengths and weaknesses, and to make them feel loved and important.
Five, we need to devote as much time to our children as possible. Interact with them person-to-person, play with them, or read a book together.
Six, we need to inculcate in children the habit of expressing gratitude in social interaction in whatever position they are. Teaching such habits need to be shown in our behaviour. Children need to see that gratitude is an incredible gift. Whenever you give your kids tasks or chores, you need to express how grateful you are for their performances.
The Harvard researchers further say that the children who are engaged in the habit of expressing gratitude are not only more compassionate, generous, helpful, and forgiving but also more likely to be healthy and happy.
We should always acknowledge and honor our children for their accomplishments. So, be thankful for the small things they perform, which are not connected to school or work. Then, we should take them to a homeless shelter and expose them to the less fortunate ones.
By doing so, we will teach them to be compassionate and emphatic, to help others, and to value and appreciate the things they have in their life. Moreover, we should create in our child the ability to solve problems. That will make them independent of our help and enable then to solve their problems.
And finally, we must let them share their issues with us and help them to make the best choice. Also, we shouldn’t pressurize our children to focus only on success because this will stress them out and make them unhappy. It is also fruitful to let our children learn from their mistakes and thus become useful citizens.
Experts agree that we learn best through trial and error. Therefore, let us not take the lifestyle of our children for granted and allow them to live their life with no guidance and counseling from us.
Good parenting and good schooling are sure ways to see our children developing into responsible and responsive citizens— the citizens who can live up to the challenges of life effectively and efficiently.
(Author is RK columnist and teacher by profession. Feedback: [email protected])
