There are so many forms of elder abuse besides physical, economic and psychological abuse. We talk about the bruisen faces but what about the bruisen souls. We talk about their empty pockets but what about the emptiness of their hearts. Some silent forms of abuse are:
Separating the Couple
In many families nowadays old father lives with one son while old mother lives with other in order to reduce caregiver burden; This separation of old couple when they need each other most is also one of the silent forms of abuse but we seldom talk about the emotional damage we are doing to our parents by separating them from their soul mate.
Distancing them from other children
Other related form of abuse is triangulation; if siblings have conflict or rivalry; they force parents to take their side and stop them from visiting the other sibling. This separation and triangulation is emotionally painful for parents and cause helplessness.
Restricting their social life
We confine our aging parents within four walls of room by saying “Buzarg chhu Gare Shuban” and do not let them visit their friends or relatives. This deprivation worsens their physical and mental health. They feel lonely and disconnected. In many cases this over possessiveness nature of family is because they don’t want their tales of ill treatment be exposed.
Mocking them
If an old man or women shows interest in the world of colours and adventures; he/ she is mocked. We make them feel that their only job is to pray and sit without complaining or interfering in the life affairs of their children or important family matters. Same way, in many families, old parents are mocked for talking about their health issues. For instance; many mock elders when they complaint about their poor vision or poor hearing. They taunt and say “You have already heard and seen a lot; what else is left now”.
Isolating them
There are many families where elders are kept in a separate room; apparently they have everything; a cozy bed to lie on ; AC on; TV in front; meals are served in room; but what they lack is the biggest of all the comforts; a patient ear and a loved one who can spent few good moments with them. They find themselves alone in the world of hustle and bustle. Emptiness of room haunts them.
Take Away
Let’s not care only out of obligation and responsibility but of love and care…. Let’s make our elders feel valued and needed. Let’s not separate them and Lets respect their social life; and ideas……Lets not be cold towards old and just because they are aged doesn’t mean they have no right to take care of their health……!
(Author can be mailed at: Email: [email protected])
