December 14th is as bitter as it is cold for me. It is the day I lost my mother, and I still long for the warmth I always felt around her during the cold, wintry days of my life. The thought that she is no longer with me scares me, but it is in her absence that I have truly felt the strength and love that defined her life.
My mother, Hafeeza Masoodi, was a true companion. Not only did she perform her duty as a mother well, she worked throughout her life educating children as a government school teacher in Sopore. Her students also recall her as a brilliant teacher who shaped their lives and inspired them to pursue their dreams. She was one of the few women teachers in Sopore in her time acclaimed for her diligence. Her contribution is also widely recognised by people from her Dangiwacha village in Baramulla.
It has been a year since her passing and each day since then I recall her – in happiness, in sadness, in the crowd and in the stillness of lonely moments. I am reminded of her by the clatter of utensils in my kitchen and sometimes by the evening call of ‘muezzin’ from a nearby mosque. She was present all this while – when I was at home or faraway in a distant city. When the world mattered to me and when nothing made sense. She had an adage ready for each situation I found myself in.
Life is difficult for children who lose a parent at a young age. I was only ten years old when I lost my father. It could have been worse for me and my siblings if not for my mother, whose unwavering resilience aided her in taking the role with greater responsibility. She helped us sail through and tide over during highs and during lows. She was there, all the time, giving me love and affection. She provided me with all the support I needed to navigate the challenges of growing up without a father.
My mother was more than just a parent; she was my guardian, my mentor, and my best friend. The way she cared for me made me feel valued and helped me realize that my life matters. It was because of her unconditional support and selflessness that I grew up as a normal child, one who needed not sympathy but guidance to achieve her goals. A parent’s success is reflected not just in the material achievements of their children but also in how their lessons shape their children’s values and thought processes. As a parent myself, I now understand the powerful forces at work in the world that can pull children away from their parents’ care and legacy.
My mother instilled in me the importance of kindness, empathy and hard-work – values that have not become obsolete even today after a millennia because of every mother’s devotion to these values. Her guidance helped shape me into the person I am today and I wish I could play my part with similar dedication that she was able to do without any complaints.
Even as she is no longer with me physically but her love continues to inspire me every day. I feel her words, her important lessons about life, devotion and the world still play in the back of my mind guiding me towards excellence. Her memory continues to motivate me to pursue my aims and objectives albeit driven by kindness and compassion. She may have left physically but I believe the world cannot be as cold as I fear it to be until there are mothers like her around. They make the world a better place, fill it with their warmth and their kindness and unconditional love – something I believe drives humanity. At the heart of all progress achieved by humanity, lies the unwavering determination of a mother to care for her child.
I am still pained that I was not present last year by my mother’s side in her last moments. It is a constant reminder of what I missed. It is something that I have to live through but I savour all the moments I have spent with her. I wish I could hold her hand once again, look into her eyes and tell her how much I love her. May be in the afterlife.
To my dearest mother, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me as my confidante and my guiding light. I miss you more with each passing day but I know you are watching over me from above. I promise to continue making you proud and to keep your memory alive in my heart.
May Allah grant you highest place in Jannah (Ameen).
(Author is headmaster BHS Singh Pora Pattan)
