The dynamic under-girding marriage trends in Kashmir valley have not only raised immense concerns but have jeopardized the Socio-cultural fabric, binding the society, in the most peculiar manner.
Over the years the changing landscape in the institution of marriage has evolved the notion of embracing materialism, cultural metamorphosis, modernity leading to innumerable and adverse impacts on the society .
Experts attribute the emergence of late marriages to numerous reasons and rationale, one of the major reasons being trans-cultural traits creeping into the society.
According to sociologists the average marrying age in the valley has gone up from 24 to 32 for men and from 21 to 28 for women. A study by a noted sociologist of the valley revealed that Before 1989 the average age of marriage in Kashmir was 23 years for males and 20 years for females earlier.
Pertinent to mention here, the otherwise simplest of the acts has been drawn by darn adorned complexities and complications. The prevalent socially imposed trends causing delayed marriages have led to severe health, social and psychological issues among those who fail to meet the so called criterion put forth by the society.
Late marriages, Leading the Society to peril
“There are multiple reasons responsible for the surge in the practice of late marriages in Kashmir valley as long as our societal intervention is concerned . Society has set-in needless and irrelevant traits which have complicated the weddings in valley”, valley based sociology professor, writer , Dr Khalid said.
“Prolonging higher education, from PG to PHD then post doc so on and so forth. It takes almost 25 years for completion of education. Then the criteria for jobs. Demand for a good government job from both boy’s and girl’s family. The families delay their marriage till they find a girl having a lavish job,” Dr Khalid said.
Over the years there has been an unprecedented surge in lavish weddings in our society. A family with a humble and moderate background can not afford such weddings of extravaganza which has become a nuisance. With the result their marriages get delayed while trying to satisfy the dowry or social demands.
“ If a family does not afford extravaganza and showoff they suffer sarcasm from relatives, friends etc. The money spent, the expenditure done on marriages is huge, it is giant. The ever growing practice and demand for dowry has had a drastic impact on the institution of marriage,”. Rukshanda, an advocate by profession said.
“Furthermore, to make it worse , the demand for dowry doesn’t stop with weddings. It continues and increases with the result the marriage ends in a disastrous manner. The practice of demanding and volunteering to give dowry is ironically highly prevalent in our society. So many families are forced to delay the marriage because they can not afford or suffice huge dowry demands” , Dr Khalid said.
Reasons behind the Unprecedented Surge
Numerous twists and turns along with the stimulati to nuisance of socially constructed norms and conditions are highly responsible for the spur in late marriages in the valley.
Lavish weddings
Dowry
Caste System
Needless Parameters set in match seeking
Evolving societal trends and traits
Cultural diffusion
Financial insatiability
Higher expectations
These are some of the major reasons behind the delayed marriages according to the experts.
“In Kashmir valley the age of marriage has gone up among all classes of the society. The context of marriage has changed. People are donning their own and bizarre reasons behind delaying the process of wedding”, said Dr Nighat Firdaus, leading gynecologist of the valley. Dr Nighat revealed that the late marriages have inflicted infertility and several reproductive issues among the women of the valley.
She says that there has been an alarming increase in the cases of infertility over the years.
The social experts are of the opinion that the economically lower sections struggle with issues of financial instability and are not able to conduct a marriage due to extravaganza and showoff which has become a compulsion during weddings.
They said that the notion and the context of marriage has changed as it was no longer limited to marriage of two persons but the evolving socio-cultural indulgence, demands, changing traditions which have changed the very concept of marriage in the valley.
Impact on women’s Reproductive health
Late marriages have spurred the issues of Infertility,
High risk pregnancies
C-sections,
Late conception
Failure of child bearing
“Women are getting married late, having adversely impacted the conception process. Delayed or late marriage is the major cause of infertility prevalent among women at higher rates. Now we see a huge number of patients who are Elderly primigravida , the term we use for an elderly woman getting pregnant”, Dr Nighat said.
She added, “As we age our body undergoes a gradual transformation, body structure changes, muscle tone changes, reproductive health undergoes a drastic change.”
Psychological Impacts
These include Trauma, Anxiety, Depression
“ The delayed marriages have caused trauma and anxiety not only to the ones suffering but to their entire families. This applies more to females who are a victim of late marriages” , Dr Khalid said.
“ Such issues have had more impact on the psyche of females . We have seen many suicide cases triggered due to these issues. This is one of the major and drastic impacts. I know people who are taking psychological treatment,” he added.
It is evident that families and girls face trauma and huge mental instability due to delayed marriage. They can not face society with every one asking why not yet.
It has a more adverse impact on females because they are always blamed for none of their faults.
How to eradicated the social evil
Experts believe that Education , guidance and proper counseling could help in thwarting the vicious trend that has hit society.
“We need to create awareness over the issue across the society at all levels be it school, college or university. Secondly the Mohalla committees must come forward to speak about this. They should make it their responsibility and look around if there is a family who can not afford the marriage, help them assist them. Let our religious priests talk about the menace of late marriages during sermons, or Friday sermons”, Dr Khalid said.
Adding, “We need to substantiate a change from our own homes. Lets not live with this impression that if we are not m no impacted we don’t care for others. if it is not affecting you now it may affect you in a more severe way in future. I am doing well. Why bother about others, shun this attitude.”
“The practice of lavish, extravagant weddings needs to be stopped. The added traditions and rituals of spending huge amounts of money has to stop. Weddings should be made an easy affair. We need to Counsel the families regarding the evil and issues it has triggered”, said Imran, a social activist.
“Make them understand if they are getting a good person with a reasonable job and why to make it a big deal. It is not ;possible to achieve perfection. Life is all about adjustments, nothing is perfect. Materialism has led to abusive relationships”, he added.
The expert advice to eradicate the practice of late marriages
People need to be counseled and sensitized about the causes, consequences and repercussions of late marriages.
All responsible citizens must come forward and work on helping the families who are not able to afford , marrying their children due to financial constraints and fear of wrath from society for not sufficing their greed and shallowness .
There is a need to change our approach, our thinking, we have complicated the easiest of the occasions, and made it appalling and difficult
