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Rising Kashmir > Blog > Opinion > Flawed Upbringing and Wrong Pursuits
Opinion

Flawed Upbringing and Wrong Pursuits

Let's all pledge to contribute individually and collectively to upheld the core principles of humanity on the planet of Allah (SWT)

MUSHTAQ HURRA
Last updated: September 26, 2024 12:03 am
MUSHTAQ HURRA
Published: September 26, 2024
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A heart-wrenching video is making rounds on different social media platforms, in which a young man is seen abusing, thrashing and slapping his parents ruthlessly. The gruesome incident has sent shock-waves down the spine of every conscientious soul. Netizens are aghast, and have registered their anger in the form of comments and posts. Even law of the land has taken swift cognizance of the matter, and has arrested the erring son. The incident is not mere disobedience from a son, but an ugly blot on our social, moral and religious ethos. The ghastly and repugnant episode has put several question marks on the upbringing and education of our children. It has shaken our very foundations. It is probably the collective failure of our doctrinal absolutism which we boast and brag about. We must delve deep into the crisis to assess the possible reasons behind this horrendously loathsome episode, and devise some remedial measures to safeguard our social and moral fabric from further deterioration.

Criminals, offenders, bandits and rapists are not born but made. A child is as innocent as an angel. It is parenting, nurturing, education and social environment that shapes up the character and behavior of a child. Birth of malefactor in a society means its elders are rotten, because children are but our own reflections and manifestations. We must accept the truth that we have miserably failed to instill values and virtues in our children. Our choices, pursuits, priorities and inclinations are entirely materialistic. We sow nettle seeds and expect roses to bloom. And it is the height of stupidity and hypocrisy. We, as parents and mentors teach our children consciously and unconsciously to be ambitious and rapacious after physical comforts. Ironically, we take pride in setting wrong benchmarks and choices for our children. We only want them to mint coins without bothering about means. Thus, we may produce millionaires, but they are sure to be devoid of ethics and values.

Religious teachings and tenets are the best procedures to keep demoniac traits of men under control. Parents and elders must be perfect role models for children to inculcate values in them. Mere rhetorics and sermons won’t serve the purpose. Children need pragmatic lessons rather than being moved by idealistic discourses and remonstrations. We, at times, teach lust and avarice to our children to compete in the rat race of wealth. Constant brainstorming by parents to hanker after materialistic pursuits make our children absolute robots who earn well but fail to understand and appreciate love and empathy. Consequently, demons grow corpulent in such people, and they cease to be humane. How can one expect such progeny to be obedient and empathetic to their elders?

I am not against earning and accumulating wealth, but it should not be at the cost of our sanity and the subtle human feelings. We are probably ambitious about wealth. Everyone looks at life through materialistic angle. Even our interpretation of success is purely based on materialism. Our education is doing no good to us. We carry the burden of books and knowledge on our shoulders, but are no different than donkeys and mules. Our fathers and forefathers were illiterate, had no degrees and diplomas to their credit, yet, they were cognizant of their obligations and responsibilities. Their priorities and preferences were quite different from ours. They would not dare to sit or eat in front of their elders and parents. Their lives were studded with gems of virtues like obedience, patience, tolerance and decency. But, now, all this has evaporated from our lives. Things have changed drastically.

We have wrongly attributed positions, possessions, knowledge and wealth to the character building of our children. Even our intelligence quotient or efficiency to tread on higher academic standards has nothing to do with our behaviour. Character building is now a forgotten thing in our homes and institutions. We work on eloquence, so-called personality development and ability to conquer the academic zenith of our children. But, we often neglect imparting values through practical lessons. Karl Marx is preferred over Shaikhul Alam (RA) in our homes. Marx’s Das Capital and Shaikhul Alam’s poetry should have been in the same shelf. But, no, we have stopped teaching the essence of life to our children. The holy Quran is reduced to an ordinary book in our homes, and is biting the dust in our racks. The Quran is our complete code of conduct and divinely manifesto, but we have confined it to amulets to ward off the evil.

Even our definition of success is purely based on money and materialism. We weigh everything through materialistic point of view. A physics or maths genius is thought to be a perfect role model for our children. Realistically, we are not defined and described by our ability to solve mind-boggling mathematical equations, ability to comprehend hypothetical abstract mysteries of the universe, setting feet on the Mars and the Venus, piercing the bosom of the mother earth to unravel her hidden treasures and secrets, and accumulating piles of gold and silver. But, we are delineated by our behavior alone. How we empathize needy, paupers, poor and destitute; exhibits our real character. A university passout might be a hoodlum, yet an illiterate might possess all the angelic traits.

Length of beard is not the solitary parameter of being pious and righteous. Allah (SWT) might forgive us for these trivial issues, but will not let us go without taking account of His favours conferred upon us. And progeny is the most valuable gift from the Creator of the universe to us, so, he will definitely make us accountable for it. The children are like raw clay. It just needs skilled potters to design beautiful things. Parents and teachers are the architects who mould it in the desired shapes and structures. Making millionaires is not important, but designing obedient and compassionate posterity is something pivotal. Let’s all pledge to contribute individually and collectively to upheld the core principles of humanity on the planet of Allah (SWT).

 

(Author is Teacher and a Columnist. He can be reached at [email protected])

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