“If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven,
And bring you home again”
Death is inevitable. Every soul has to taste the smell of death. However, to lose someone you dearly love is painful. It leaves deep bruises on the walls of our existence. It creates a void which doesn’t get filled no matter how hard you try to console yourself. The plethora of emotions was triggered when my brother in a shaky voice announced at the door of my room “Nana is no more didi”. My breath got choked. I completely froze when these words touched my ears with a gushing sensation. It was terrible news. I couldn’t move for a moment. My heart started beating grievously uttering the priceless name of my grandma Nana, Nana, Nana. My lacrimal glands got flooded with tears of loss and grief. My cheeks turned red and bruised. After a while, I rushed to her room nervously only to see my grandma in eternal sleep.
It was on a chilly dark night in January when Nana breathed her last and bade adieu to this world. Her death shattered everyone in the family. My mother was inconsolable as she had lost her mentor, guide, and mother. I couldn’t muster the courage to see the lifeless body of my grandma closely as I had always witnessed her at home alive and active but now she was lying on the mattress lifeless. While watching her from distance I felt a strong urge to have one last conversation with her but alas she had slipped into eternity. When people were getting ready to give her final bath I got up the nerve and touched her forehead for the last time. The noor (eternal light) on her face was quite visible. It was as if Allah had sent the angels from heaven to guard her and take her to the world hereafter.
A grandmother is regarded as the storehouse of love, care and affection. My grandmother [Nana) was the epitome of love. She would wait restlessly out of care till every member of the home returned safely from the day’s work. She was a blessing from Allah (SWT), a source of strength and wisdom. I enjoyed the beautiful chemistry with my grandma. Her sparkling eyes, glowing face with a bright smile would beautify everything. She was an active lady of her time. She would never prefer to sit idle. She lost her husband very early in life and handled the house alone with four kids very courageously. She fought battles of life with great valour. She toiled hard for better education for her children and whatever she saved would go for the upbringing of her child.
She was a great teacher who taught me to overcome the tough challenges of life. Besides, she was a firm religious lady with a rosary in her hands most of the time uttering the name of Allah (SWT). She devoted her maximum time to the way of Almighty. She had taught Quran to the kids at Darzgah. The students who used to come for the reading of Quran at home respected and revered her. People would out of love call her names of “Ape Jigar”, Nana, Asheh Apa.
As the darkness dawns, the pain of separation intensifies. It feels so empty and lonely without her. I miss her voice and presence. Physically she is no longer with us but I believe she is watching over us and praying from above. She will live in my heart and in my memory forever. She will be my Nana for the rest of my life.
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