Confidence is built through repetition. Every question asked, every opinion shared, and every uncomfortable moment survived adds to a stronger sense of ability
ER SUHAIB BAKSHI
Kashmir has always been home to intelligent, talented, and capable people. From homes and classrooms to workplaces and social settings, countless individuals carry valuable ideas, deep wisdom, and genuine understanding. Many of them listen carefully, think deeply, and observe, but when the moment comes to speak, they hesitate.
Their silence is often misunderstood as a lack of confidence or ability. In reality, it usually reflects something deeper. The issue is not always what people know. Sometimes, it is whether they feel comfortable enough to express what they know. This is the confidence gap.
It is not a gap in intelligence or talent. It is the distance between knowing and expressing, between ability and participation, between thought and visibility. Some people naturally speak more easily, while others take longer to share their ideas, even when they possess equal understanding. Over time, this difference shapes opportunities, social interactions, and personal growth. In today’s world, knowledge matters greatly, but the ability to communicate that knowledge also matters.
In Kashmir, this reality can often be seen in everyday moments. Someone may have a meaningful point during a discussion but decide not to share it. Another person may know the answer to a question but still hesitate to speak. Someone else may avoid participating simply because they fear making a mistake or being judged. These moments may seem small, but repeated over time, they slowly shape confidence itself. Silence becomes a habit. Hesitation becomes natural. Gradually, people begin to hold back ideas and opinions that could have value.
Research from leading global universities supports this understanding. Research linked to Harvard University suggests that confidence can influence participation, growth, and performance in different areas of life. Research from the University of Oxford has also explored how confidence shapes communication and willingness to engage with opportunities.
Work from the University of Michigan suggests that confidence often develops through encouragement, experience, and repeated participation rather than through natural talent alone. These studies point toward an important truth: hesitation, not lack of ability, is often the real challenge.
Many people grow up believing that confidence must come before action. They wait to feel fully prepared before speaking, participating, or stepping forward. But confidence rarely arrives first. Usually, it develops gradually through action itself. People become confident because they participate repeatedly, not because they begin without fear. This misunderstanding affects many lives.
People wait for the perfect words, the perfect moment, or complete certainty before expressing themselves. Over time, conversations begin reflecting not the distribution of wisdom, but the distribution of confidence.
One powerful illustration of this idea can be seen in the journey of Ruma Devi from Barmer, Rajasthan. In 2006, she brought together a small group of village women to begin stitching and handicraft work with limited resources.
What started as a modest local effort gradually evolved into an initiative that has supported and trained nearly 50,000 rural women artisans throughout the Thar region through handicrafts, skill development, and livelihood programmes.
Today, she serves as President of Gramin Vikas Evam Chetna Sansthan (GVCS), Director of the Ruma Devi Foundation, and Brand Ambassador of RAJEEVIKA under the Government of Rajasthan. She was later honoured with the Nari Shakti Puraskar, India’s highest civilian honour for women, and invited to speak at institutions including Harvard University on women’s entrepreneurship and artisan livelihoods.
Her journey underscores an important reality about confidence: it rarely emerges before action. More often, it is built gradually through participation, patience, and the willingness to move forward despite uncertainty.
The effects of this are stronger than they appear. Valuable thoughts remain unspoken. Important questions remain unasked. Creativity remains hidden. In many situations, people silence themselves long before anyone else does. Fear of embarrassment, fear of mistakes, or fear of judgment slowly discourages participation. Silence then begins to feel safer than expression. Over time, this silence can shape how people see themselves and what they believe they are capable of doing.
Perhaps the most important idea to reflect upon lies in how confidence itself is understood. Confidence is often seen as something people must possess before they act. Many people naturally associate confidence with calmness, clarity, and self-assurance. In reality, however, confidence is rarely the starting point.
Instead, it develops gradually through experience. People usually act while uncertain, nervous, and hesitant. Confidence grows afterwards through repetition, participation, and understanding that discomfort is often a natural part of growth.
Confidence is built through repetition. Every question asked, every opinion shared, and every uncomfortable moment survived adds to a stronger sense of ability. Every avoided opportunity, however, strengthens hesitation. The longer the silence continues, the more natural it becomes. This pattern extends far beyond classrooms or workplaces.
Everyday interactions, social settings, and daily life often reward those who communicate clearly and respectfully. When people feel encouraged to express themselves with confidence, it can gradually lead to growth, connection, and meaningful opportunities.
Ideas only influence the world when they are expressed. Talent only becomes visible when it is shown. Potential hidden behind silence often remains unnoticed, not because it lacks value, but because it lacks expression. Addressing this challenge does not require a dramatic change. Sometimes the most meaningful changes are the simplest ones.
Conversations can become spaces where people feel safe expressing thoughts that are still taking shape. Families and social circles can encourage respectful participation without attaching fear to mistakes. People can remind themselves that uncertainty is not weakness, but a natural part of learning and growth.
Kashmir possesses immense intelligence, creativity, and human potential. The region has never lacked thoughtful minds or competent individuals. But talent alone is not always enough. People must also feel able to step forward, express themselves, and trust their own voice.
Confidence is not about speaking the most. It is not about appearing completely certain. It is not the absence of fear. Confidence is the willingness to participate despite uncertainty.
The first attempt may feel uncomfortable. The second may feel slightly easier. Eventually, what once felt difficult becomes natural. That is how confidence is built. Not through perfection, but through participation. Not through certainty, but through courage repeated often enough to become a habit.
In the end, growth is shaped not only by what people know but also by their willingness to express and share their thoughts.
(The Author writes on human skills, communication, and personal development. Feedback: bakshisuhaib094@gmail.com)