The Art of Parenting
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The Art of Parenting

One of the cherished and fundamental right is that the parents should spend quality time with their children

Post by on Friday, December 17, 2021

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Parenting means teaching children to differentiate between good and bad, nourishing them, inculcating good habits and above all an effort to make them good human beings. We all endeavor to provide basic amenities to our children.  The children have certain rights and at the same time there are certain obligations/duties on the children. Good education, proper clothes, good food and best schooling are inherent rights of our children. One of the cherished and fundamental right is that the parents should spend quality time with their children.

It has been observed that nowadays parents are hard pressed for time, since both of them are working, there is usually no one at home to take care of kids. Remarkable shift from joint family system to nuclear families, the problem is compounded as there is no granny and grandfather to fall back upon. The women folk whose primary responsibility was to look after the household and to take care of the children has left her bastion in-order to compete with men and achieve freedom from the grinding mill of household chores. The primary responsibility of every parent is to provide moral education to their children. Teach them good manners; inculcate moral values and ability to draw a line between good and bad. This demands time- quality time!

Nowadays, most of the parents are so busy in their materialistic pursuits that they hardly find time for their children. Their focus is on earning money by hook or by crook. The father does not spend even holidays with their children. He leaves the house when children are sleeping, and return by the time, children have already slept. He is recognized as Sunday Papa. This is true of his counterpart; she has to balance her time between her job and home. She has a hectic schedule. Her day starts with preparing breakfast for the family, getting children ready for school, preparing herself for the day and in the evening she cooks meals for the family, in short she hardly finds time, much less quality time for the children. She has to do tight-rope walking. The parents behave like Robots and in the end results are devastating.

They usually engage a male servant or a female servant and often the children are all alone with these servants. It has been reported that out of 100 children 9 children are exploited by these male servants leaving a scar on their mind, and out of 100 children 12 are reportedly exploited by their near relatives cousins and neighbors. In developed countries Parents fix CTVS to watch their kids while they are with their servants. The parents hardly find time to attend parent teacher meeting in their schools.  

Another area which calls for attention is listening. Parents lack patience and as such they do not listen to what the children want to say. Resultantly there is a communication gap. This gap widens with time and children shy away and do not share their secrets with the parents. Failure to communicate pushes the child into oblivion and often he/she finds solace in drugs. Parents compensate the time by giving goodies to the children. Equipping the children with electronic gadgets, I-pods, digital cameras, I-phones and expensive cars is no answer to their stark expressions of reality. The children of present times are a lonely lot. They do not have a shoulder to lean back. They crave for affection of their grand Parents, and when they fail to get love and affection from their parents they start looking for alternatives.

The girl child is all the more insecure in this mad world. She deserves attention of her mother, she can share her small secrets with her mother and she does not find her by her side. She wants to confide her innermost thoughts but there is no one listening. She craves for the affectionate hand of her father who would play with her hair and give a fatherly hug, but he is busy in his clinic/business. Is this Parenting?

The consequences are disastrous. The children go astray. They become recluse, drug addicts and spend the money given by their parents on immoral activities. Their thought becomes perverse, they lack moral values and have scant respect for their parents. This is largely due to the fact that the parents give loads of pocket money to their children. This is because they themselves are not aware about the source of their income.

Quality time- Parents have to reach their children, sit with them, discuss their problems, know their friends and play with them. Help them with their homework and above all respect them. Parents have to instill confidence in their children and desist from rebuking them in front of others. At the same time they have to be vigilant and observe their children keenly. If they observe change in behavior, the child withdraws himself, does not engage himself in conversation, it should ring warning bells in your mind. The parents should find out the friends of their child, where do they spend their spare time, where do they hang out and what fascinates them. Parents should pay surprise visits to the school/college to find out whether they are actually there. This is where parents lag behind. It should not be construed that parents are becoming snoopy and are transgressing their rights.                                   

Parents have onerous responsibility of shaping our future generations. They cannot be complacent in their approach. They cannot afford to be slack in their enshrined duty. They have to command respect from their children, not by corrupting them, by dolling them undue favors but earning this respect by becoming their idols. Their one look should freeze them and another look should inspire hope and affection. It should be endeavor of every parent to impart religious and moral education to their children. This should be invariably done. Moral values are necessary for personality development of our children.

I call upon the Parents not to handover credit cards/debit cards to the children up to secondary level. Do not allow your teenage children to drive cars if they have not attained majority. Do not equip your children with mobile phones up to secondary levels. They should not be in possession of extra cash. Make surprise visits to their schools/colleges to ensure that your ward has not fallen prey to any bad habit.

We are already on the brink of losing our future generation to drugs, if corrective measures are not taken forthwith. Ellen key educationist says,” At every step the child should be allowed to meet the real experiences of life; the thorns should never be plucked from his roses.

(Author is Educator and Columnist} 

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