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Texts That Move Your Relationship Forward

We’ve all heard the saying a ‘watched clock never moves’. But a more accurate saying will be ‘a watched smartphone never pings.’ There is nothing more anxiety-provoking than being left on seen when you text someone unless it is seeing the text b

Post by on Friday, May 28, 2021

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We’ve all heard the saying a ‘watched clock never moves’. But a more accurate saying will be ‘a watched smartphone never pings.’ There is nothing more anxiety-provoking than being left on seen when you text someone unless it is seeing the text bubble that someone is typing and then never getting a response. Texting has the power to help or hinder your relationship. Everything has its own pros and cons, texting too. It can be helpful in avoiding difficult situations as well as keeping us in contact with our loved ones. It can bring people closer or increase the gap between them depending on the understanding they share. So to enhance your texting skills here are some tips: 

1. Texting nice things: Texting a compliment, a funny meme or a positive comment will make the person on the other end feel closer to you and more satisfied with the relationship. “Good Morning beautiful, Have a nice day.” 

2. Shorten the time frame: If you’re talking to someone on a Monday and they happened to be leaving the conversation to go into a meeting, don’t finish that little chapter of the conversation by saying, “Have a great week.” Say, “Have a great meeting. 

3. Create a shared reference together : If someone tells you something like their favourite TV show is friends .That then creates this moment of A) I know you a little bit; B) I was listening; and C) we now have a shared reference together something that builds our story. Plan to watch a series together which both of you have the same interest in. 

4. Use a pattern break: Don’t keep sending texts and make it a boring conversation. Use emojis, GIFS, photos to spice it up. It could be a voice note, it could be a picture and when you do something like that, it’s a pattern break that grabs someone’s attention. 

5. The intrigue compliment : Give someone a compliment that’s specific, but begin it with this phrase: “Do you know what I like about you?” First, you’re signalling that something interesting is coming. How do I know it’s interesting? Because it’s about them, and that’s the most interesting subject in the world to that person. “Do you know what I like about you?” Pause. 

6. The accelerator text : The idea behind this message is just to keep things moving. We have an unwillingness to stand still, an unwillingness to be in a situation where there is no momentum. And that means if you keep getting texts from someone that doesn't go anywhere, someone keeps sending you superficial details of their day or what they’re up to asking how you are, but never culminates in a date, you have to have a low tolerance for things that don’t go anywhere. 

7. Personal space: It is important to respect the schedule of your friends or partner. Refrain from sending text messages super early in the morning or late at night as many people prefer to be off social media at that time. If you do happen to send a text message beyond the decent time remember to apologise but make sure you take time to apologize. 

8. Initiating texts equally: While texting you should be consistent and interested in the conversation. Ask questions which show you are interested in the conversation but not too many also make it annoying. 

9. Avoid conflicts over texting: If you see the argument is getting heated avoid texting as it may add fuel to the fire. Texting can make the argument go to any extent without stopping and can affect your mental peace. So better off meeting in person to resolve such issues. 

10. Have Patience: If your friend or partner is taking time to respond to your texts don’t ping them with tons of messages making it hard for them to have a conversation with you. Wait for them to get free from their work and then they will respond. Unnecessarily messaging will make the other person annoyed and he/she might want to avoid the conversation. A piece of advice, if you are annoyed or irritated by the way your friend or partner texts you or responds to your texts then take some time to talk about this issue. Discussing small matters like these might help in resolving the issues and understanding each other much better. This way the person on the other end will try and make amendments and try not to make the same mistake again. Even if it happens you will know the root cause of the mistake and not react the same way you used to earlier. 

Dr. Bhavna Barmi , 
PhD,  MPhil ( NIMHANS) 
Child and Clinical Psychologist, Relationship Therapist,
NLP Practitioner and Life Coach, Fortis Escorts Heart Institute
Founder of Happiness Studio New Delhi
bhavna.barmi@gmail.com

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