I won't give up and I know it is a long fight. Days to come seem hopeless and chances of immediate recovery is bleak
No doubt Corona virus has emerged as a threatening nemesis for the human race. Nobody expected it to go this far. We all are anxious, fretful about the possible outcome.
Agreed nobody has seen tomorrow. But, we witnessed yesterday and are observing today. And, all I could say is tomorrow seems overcast.
Well, I'm a doctor by profession, working in Saudia Arabia. As I'm writing this column by now we have had 767 positive cases of COVID19. Today was really not a good day. We had a first death in the country today.
In the graceful city of Madinah we lost a beautiful soul to this brutal virus. I felt really down today. But, when you are in this profession, somewhere down the line you have to bid farewell to your emotions.
Things are getting very nervy. I too get frightened at times. But then the doctor within me reminds me of my duties. And, within a few seconds time I forget myself. This relationship of mine with myself is bewildering. I guess 'bewildering' is the right adjective.
A worrisome face of my patient, his distress and mental strain awakens into me a soldier who knows only to save life, not kill. All happens by the Will of Allah. And, knowing it makes whole of it more momentous.
Let me get it straight. Like other doctors in every part of the world, especially these days, I know I'm the most exposed soul to this vicious virus. Everyday I leave my house for work it seems it could be the last day seeing them happy.
'What if today I am infected?' I do not sleep on it. It strikes my mind like the lightening. Whole day the face of son sleeping in his cozy bed rests in my head.
The more terrible thought that plays with my mind, "What if my family is infected because of me?" It fiddles with my mind. But I overcome it. I have to. I know it is very much a possibility, but I can't afford to lose my concentration.
These days at home I'm not there at all. I try my best to hide it, I'm good at acting. I can't afford to lose my touch with this virus. If I stop thinking about it, I feel I'm doing injustice with many. I need to understand every custom and propensity of this infective agent.
I see it as an enemy who is very close to me. And, make myself ready if I meet it tomorrow I should connect to it bravely. That meeting could be facing it in some others body or embracing it in my own. In either case the rendezvous would be excruciating.
I do not feel shy to admit that I too get frightened, at times petrified. I fear for my life, my family and many other things so personal to me. Just a few hours ago I read the news of some doctors died in Italy after contracting coronavirus. It send shivers down my spine. But, a medic within me reminds me of the promises I made to my profession, to people, and to myself. And, I tie my belt to face it bravely.
I won't give up. I know it is a long fight. Days to come seem hopeless and chances of immediate recovery is bleak.
Like my other fellow professionals I'm ready to be in the belly of it. And, in the line of duty even if I die it would be gratifying. May God help us in these testing times.
Tomorrow is another day in the hospital. And, I hope I'm able to bring some smiles over the faces of my patients.
Hope is a beautiful thing. It keeps you going. It derives from you the passage to see unseen. And, tomorrow I hope to see patients healing and hopes multiplying.