Managing emotions in early adulthood in women
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Managing emotions in early adulthood in women

Post by on Tuesday, March 8, 2022

First slide

Q1: What are the changes that happen in middle age?

1. Achieving autonomy.

2. Being independent.

3. Establishing identity and more stabilisation of personality.

4. Emotional stability develops which means a sign of maturing.

5. Establishing a career  becoming more stable in deciding and pushing a career at least have an initial direction in pursuing career and education.

6. Forming stable close, long-term relationships.

7. Becoming a part of group or community  getting involved with various groups in the community by volunteering or voting to be a part of civic organisation.

8. Managing the household  budgeting and home maintenance.

9. Marital and relationship adjustments.

10. Learning to be a parent.

 

So, basically early adulthood is about taking up new role and learning to maintain a healthy work life  social  physical  family  personal life balance.

 

Q2: So, with all these changes, new roles and responsibilities in life, creates a lot of anxiety and stress, so how does one Cope with these positively? What are the positive coping mechanisms?

 

Set Priorities: First and foremost, we have to know, that when our plate is full with a lot of things, we need to decide what is the most important thing, what is our priority and what is the least important thing. Which means setting our priorities and goals first.

 

Q3. How does one set goals?

Make S.M.A.R.T. goals: Make a to-do list of what you want and what you want to achieve. These goals should not be random. Follow the S.M.A.R.T. acronym to make the goals. 

S- Specific  eg- I want to lose weight.

M- Measurable-  eg- 10 kilos.

A- Attainable- eg- to lose 1 kilo in a month.

R- Realistic- within your capacity and resources.

T- Time Bound- eg- in 10 months, which means 1 kilo in 1 month. This is realistic and achievable unlike, saying losing 5 kilos in 2 weeks, which is unrealistic and not achievable. 

When the goal is achieved, it gives us a sense of achievement, increases our self esteem and improves our motivation to do more. This helps in improved Mental RESILIENCE and reduces stress.

 

Q3: Being in the pandemic and with all changing scenarios, going on with the responsibility at work, at home, online schooling, has resulted in lot of anxiety? How does one deal with this?

Accept uncertainty - This is something that we cannot change. Accept it.

Make a list of uncertain things that happen in your day to day life that you accept without realising. For example- my zoom meeting may or may not start on time. I will get hot breakfast, today morning there wont be internet issues, my alarm will ring, etc. Do all these things happen 100% everyday?

Once we realise that we have been living with uncertainties, we realise not everything is 100% certain. And we are doing okay. This helps to calm the nerves and lower anxiety.

Control information flow - Restrict yourself to media exposure, to local channels and to topics relevant to you. Follow only genuine news.

Worry period- Set aside a time and place in the day for 20-30 mins where you worry about various things. Worry only during this time. If you are out of topics for worry during the time, leave it, and do it again the next day. Everyday reduce the time by 5 mins.Even after doing these things, there are RED FLAGS - your anxiety does not go away, it stays for almost the whole day, every day, and it interferes with your ability to work or function on day today basis, or if you are having symptoms of panic attack like palpitations, breathlessness, giddiness, choking sensation, feeling of  something bad is going to happen, et cetera, you need to seek a psychiatrist for the same.

Q4. Taking care of kids, home, family, leaves very little time for self and very little time for socialising, resulting in loneliness. What to do then?

Loneliness is a sense of lack of emotional connection and companionship. It comes from within. Those affected the most are whose relationships are already strained. What do you do? 

Think - who matters most in your life? Who are the most important people in your life? Who supports you? 

Increase contact with them deliberately. It’s a time to RE-CONNECT not just connect with them via video calling/ skype/ facetime. You can collaborate with your colleagues over zoom/ skype/ whatsapp/ etc.

Have a buddy/ supervisor whom you can reach out  to. This will provide social contact. Audio/ video chatting is superior to email/ text in social connections. Learn to say NO to work outside work hours

Sometimes, this loneliness just does not go away and it could be a part of depression. So, if you feel lonely every day, through the day, seek help from your psychiatrist.

 

Q4: With age, there are physical changes that happen, the lady’s body changes due to age and pregnancy, she may not like it. This reduces self confidence and motivation. How does one deal with this?

1. First and foremost, remove time for self - ME TIME- it is very important. It should be at least 1 hour per day. In this time, you can do whatever you enjoy: singing, yoga, reading a book, having coffee while watching Netflix, etc.

2. Healthy eating.

3. Physical exercise- 40 minutes-  4 to 5 times a week, helps improve mood and also helps maintain a fit body.

4. Mind exercises - these are equally important as physical exercise. These include meditation, mindfulness, being grateful, helping others, etc.

 

Q5: Last question, What is the most important thing for a healthy mind?

 

A good night’s sleep: Sleep is a very important physiological function. It is when our body and mind heals. It is when short term memory consolidates into long term memory. It refreshes our mind and body. It helps us function and focus better. On an average, an adult needs 6-8 hours of sleep everyday.

 How does one achieve a good night’s sleep? 

 Follow sleep hygiene:

? No naps during the day.

? Do not look at the clock.

? Same wake up and sleep time.

? Use bed only for sleep.

? Get out off bed if can’t sleep after 30 minutes.

? Sleep early, because the later you sleep, your mind enters a day cycle of 27 hours/day instead of 24 hours/day. This hinders with sleep patterns too.

? No stimulants like coffee, tea, energy drinks after 6 pm.

? Hot showers help with sleep.

? Keep looking out the window at the sky few times in a day to make your mind aware of the day light and night time.

? Wind down time  at least 1 hour before sleep time. Stop all the screens 1 hour before sleep to reduce blue light effect which interferes with falling asleep.

 

Even after practising the sleep hygiene techniques, one is not able to fall asleep, then insomnia could be suggesting an underlying problem which needs to be solved. Hence we need to see a psychiatrist for help.

As Oprah Winfrey says "You can have it all. Just not all at once."

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