Female Body Shaming: The Silent Killer of Confidence
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Female Body Shaming: The Silent Killer of Confidence

There is a deep sense of possession associated with the body. It is after all the most immediate material extension of our being and facilitates our navigation through the physical world

Post by on Saturday, October 16, 2021

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As I put pen to paper for this article, I have a deep sense of realization that with this topic, I am off-roading from both, my areas of expertise as well as occupation. However, as a writer I pride myself to be committed to causes that I feel strongly, deeply and personally about. Such topics in fact do not require any deep study or research and catch my eye in the most ordinary, everyday situations.

The Kashmiri culture and language has ample appetite to accommodate subtle and brazen acrimony of Body Shaming in general and Female Body Shaming in particular. As a social phenomenon, this is something that I, over the years, have developed a keen perception for. Sometimes quietly observing a subtle and demeaning remark, at other times trying to understand its genesis and tracing the consequences of the trauma.

Ancient eastern philosophies often call the body ‘a vehicle of our consciousness’. The vehicle is so enmeshed with our being and forms such an essential part of our very definition that even a minute slight against it can flare us up. There is a deep sense of possession associated with the body. It is after all the most immediate material extension of our being and facilitates our navigation through the physical world. A more distant analogy would probably be our car. If you are still wondering why people are so deeply affected with regard to their bodies, wait until someone marks a small scratch on your car. You will have your answer.

While body shaming attacks are made on both sexes, our patriarchal culture makes it especially traumatizing for females. In a patriarchal culture, the psychological genesis of body consciousness and shaming is the deep-rooted desire to please the male gaze and meet matrimonial and reproductive ends. In ectomorphic body forms, the victim could be put through a severe nutrition regime that her digestive system may not agree with or even reject painfully. On the other hand, females with an endomorphic constitution are compelled to slim down and try to fit in within the statistically “normal” body weights and sizes, again for reasons of better acceptance and convenient matrimony. There definitely are exceptions to this, such as a medical condition or an innate passion for a sport.

Body shaming as a weapon of abuse encompasses not just the physical but also the visual aspect of a female’s body. Our deep-seated colonial admiration for white-skin continues to develop complexes amongst our dark-skinned females. Kashmiri culture has long used the word ‘meem’ as the gold standard for beauty. The word is probably a distortion of the English “Ma’am” used to respectfully and admiringly address the female accomplices of British officers during the colonial era. These subtle aspects of our culture need to be brought under the scanner if we are to deal with this traumatizing problem. In a lighter vein, complexes arising due to an endomorphic body are making fortunes for our emerging gym industry, just like the colonial complexes did for the fairness cream industry.

Superficially, we can pin down quite a few consequences of body consciousness and shaming, such as social awkwardness, isolation, low confidence and self-loathing. However, the real severity of trauma continues to be the dark zone for us. It would require inputs from experts, especially clinical psychologists, for us to gauge the real impact of this social menace. The biggest challenge is the diverse set of factors playing a part in this phenomenon. This makes it all the more difficult for us to zero in on the most vulnerable demographic groups. Relatively mature women in their late 20s or 30s may be no less sensitive to the trauma than those in their early adolescence.

The intentions of body shaming are diverse. These range from a desire to humiliate, to genuine concerns of a doting mother. The latter almost invariably pulls the matrimonial card in this context. This often makes it difficult for women to fight against the menace of body shaming without letting it affect their familial bonds. After all, our social interaction is probably as important as our individual life and therefore women often silently accept and even internalize the negative influences of the society. In my humble opinion however, it is important to put a foot down and mark clear boundaries between the social and the personal. And it never gets more personal than one’s body!

The Shakespearean maxim “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” is one of the most overused expressions in romance. But I fail to find a better quote that can singularly address this social issue, and could become the sole guiding light of wisdom and repose, for us as a civilized society.

 

(Author is Educator and Columnist. His areas of focus are Education, Economy and Geopolitics. He can be reached on: danish.zahoor@live.com)

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