Between the Devil and the Deep Sea
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Between the Devil and the Deep Sea

Between the devil and the deep sea there is this diabole (diabolic hyperbole) that largely determines the choices ignorant people make

Post by on Saturday, October 9, 2021

First slide
The smallish man, excited to the point of nervous breakdown, whispered in the ear of his scoutmaster, “We have hardwired their PA system (public address). Have installed a lie detector and replaced chime with a melodious tune anyone would ever like. It is Chinese, and wait till the words come. On the opposite end of the block, one of the five chairs on the dais moved slightly and the man in white cottons and waist coat grabbed and pulled the microphone towards him. As the man spoke the words, “Dear countrymen”, the jingle started in the background with melodic tune and a techno-child’s voice, “he is lying, he is lying, he is lying…” The speaker, off the balance, did not wish to utter another word. You got to give an A plus to Chinese technology for they can even detect when people greet. Soon the whole super bowl event got even racier with men in uniform like trained sniffers clean checking the whole block.
On the other side, the smallish man and the scoutmaster exchanged looks of content, and it was time for them to play the joker. “Didn’t we say” – the words blasting through mega speakers and spoken with ingredients of forewarning and absolution pierced through thin ear drums straight into the heads. It was repeated thrice, neat and clean repetitions and people now startled began wondering – yes, perhaps they did say, but what did they say! They warned us about them lying. So it was settled and slowly brawny men, tawny men, scrawny men, all kinds of men, began leaving the opposite block and draw closer enticed by the tunes of piper. With both indifference and a certain sense of forbearance, the man in plain cottons took out his phone, dialed a number and said, “Hello, yes, you got a job… fifty… no each… give me a discount… okay but surprise me….”
As it happened the man on the other side (phone) was really on the other side (block) amidst the throng of men stupefied by the words. “He is absolutely right,” the man raised his voice and his hand up in the air. It was the signal, the distress call, SOS for others who were spread throughout, who marked his position and began to disperse evenly. The man yelled again, “I say nobody has said anything like that for fifty years now” – deep devil’s smiles went down the men that were now fully engaged for a promising pay. The man who yelled disappeared completely… If there is anything organized in this county it has to be public campaigning services. 
The lullaby was working fine, some might even have argued it to be hypnosis, and people rather being dead sleep were actually half dazed half thrilled; when a voice among the people was heard, clearly audible: “What about the jobs you promised.” Now, that was one thing more than having fun at the super bowl. And another voice added, “Yes, the jobs, I have been paying visits to the recruitment office for five years and whatever money I had it is spent on those advertisements and forms.” Far away another one joined, “I spent a fortune on studies and I see it go waste. I was looted by schools and colleges who made me pay large sums.” And another one, “Those schools and colleges are run by your people. You have looted our money and now you are telling us these tales and wanting from us more.” It started as hum, then loud buzz and was about to turn into a frenzy. Now the men in the uniform that had finished cleaning the opposite block rushed in and started dispersing the people. By then it was an even contest, both scored a point. 
Before people started to move back towards the earlier podium, a small procession of people carrying banners went through the two blocks. The leader turned his head left and yelled, “What say yankees.” And out came the reply, “On our terms”. Then the leader turned his head right and yelled, “What say fallbacks.” And again the same reply, “On our terms.” The leader with much disappointed face, took a deep breath and filled his lungs with all air in the radius of three metres. Then he spoke in the hand held loudspeaker on top of his voice, “Going to hell, both of you and think you will take all these good people with you. Well, we ain’t gonna join you, we ain’t gonna follow you. However, you make us offer for a good post in hell, we will consider.” After a pause one of the mega phones sounded, “Sorry, we would have liked it, but hell is full, we are considering layoffs, nowadays can’t even manage rotations.”
Years ago, folks would have been surprised at the brazenness of such talking. But, it was the new age and people fed up of diabolic talks and diatribes in closed corridors preferred them in public. In fact anyone who could put it out, the truth no matter how dirty it was, was appreciated and patronized. 
The procession thus moved on, on a circular path that after a tedious walk was supposed to reach the spot again… and again. People did not join, except few of those bored of moving to and fro between the blocks.  
The man in the cottons and waist coat, now stood up, erected his posture and in a confident voice began speaking in the new installed PA system. “From next year, jobs are not going to worry anyone anymore. We have some of the best men working and negotiating for setting up a new industry, unheard and a daunting challenge that will lift this place sky high. I would say leave your odd jobs and self engagements and join this new promising industry and take home the greatest benefits available to us now. Don’t say later that we did not inform.” That was too much to resist, the cheese for the tawny men, brawny men, scrawny men, all kinds of men. You could have heard “what is it” thousand and one times and seen the faces lit the two podiums. 
Continued the man in cottons: “We are in the middle of the talks and moving towards the culmination of fair conclusion of discussions and debates on preliminary study meant to investigate the possibility of a proposal that engenders feasibility of future establishment of… Air Industry, yes, you heard it right, Fresh Air Industry. Our delegation which has just arrived after their trip from around the world has shared this opinion that there is dearth of fresh air everywhere except our county. Thanks for our judicious use and demand, we still have large deposits of fresh air in the air. Which means we are holding one end of the supply-demand chain, which means there is a potential and all we need to do is to tap it.” 
One curious bloke in the audience, in awe, blurted, “You mean we will have pipelines in the air and then from taps we can put it in bottles and sell it.”  
The speaker resuming his speech: “No. I meant we will tap it and put it in cylinders and export it, not the bottles. We are not in favor of plastics. The new regime will make a new system, when your gas cylinders will be delivered, we will provide you extra cylinders. You will have to ensure that when they reach you they are totally clean. Then you can fill them with fresh air, to the top and remember fresh air only. It will be checked that there is no edible oil smoke, or kangri smoke or anything. So make sure your cylinders have both quantity and quality of fresh and clean air. Then our transport vehicle will come to your house and pick up the delivery and pay you in cash, and the cylinders will then be put in the facilitation centre and storehouses and shipped away. Right now we are working on price negotiations, better transportation and regulation mechanisms. Best part is that… everyone is eligible. We have the forms here and it just costs few bucks. And remember, don’t tell us later that you were not informed.”
At that point the whole crowd rushed forward, even the people on the opposite block stood dumbfounded at the excellent idea – mixing campaigning with a fund raising exercise. All forms were sold, some people even bought fifty to sell them later for a better price incase there is shortage. They all went home, happy with the fantastic dream about their newly found fortune and joy. Between the devil and the deep sea there is this diabole (diabolic hyperbole) that largely determines the choices ignorant people make.
(Author is a Freelance Journalist and Columnist. He can be reached at nadisa32@gmail.com)              
 

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