Why do good people suffer?
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Why do good people suffer?

The root of suffering is attachment, so if you want to remove suffering from your life, you also at some level need to detach yourself from the people and situations that surround you

Post by on Saturday, October 9, 2021

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Why do good people suffer? These five words have caused sleepless nights for many of us! All sorts of ideas…..philosophical, psychological and theological start circling in our heads. Where to start? What suffering looks or feels like is probably one of the most subjective notions we can ponder. Even the way we usually categorise suffering – “physical” or “mental” – is blurry, because rarely does one come without the other. Our minds hurt when our bodies hurt, and vice versa. Our first experience of suffering comes right at the beginning of our lives…our birth. In the book The Trauma of Birth (1924), the psychoanalyst Otto Rank – one of Freud’s closest colleagues – wrote that all human beings suffer trauma by virtue of being born. Birth According to Rank was-“the first experience of anxiety, and thus the source and prototype of the affect of anxiety”, he believed the physical event of being born to be not only the first anxiety a person knows, but also the blueprint of all anxiety experienced over the arc of their life.
 
As we grow older and step into adulthood, it is seen that some of us seem to be better equipped at handling suffering than the less fortunate ones. This has been attributed to the early secure attachment on our emotional resilience with our near and dear ones and this is what ultimately equips us to combat the stress that we will surely experience as we grow old and step out into the grown-up world. This fact is now widely accepted in psychology and, after decades of minimizing the effects of negative events in childhood, researchers have established that a broad range of adverse childhood events are significant risk factors for most mental health problems. The studies related to adverse childhood experiences show that childhood trauma and neglect manifest not just in mental distress in childhood but also as chronic inflammation and compromised immune responses in the body throughout the rest of our lives. People living with chronic pain are suffering not only with the physical aspects of that pain, but also with some mental issues that are probably not addressed ever and this is the reason that the mere physical treatment of their bodies does not bring the relief that they seek.
 
Coming now to the big question-As to the great why of suffering, some psychologists suggest that the psychological and social factors are, for many of us, the main cause. “Poverty, relative inequality, being subject to racism, sexism, displacement and a competitive culture all increase the likelihood of mental suffering”. Add into the mix individual experiences such as childhood sexual abuse, early separation, emotional neglect, chronic invalidation and bullying, and we get a clearer picture of why some people suffer more than others.”It is often seen that those inflicting grave suffering in their adult lives have experienced childhood trauma of one kind or the other. That is why it is said that when another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment. HE NEEDS HELP. In fact there is data to support the victim to victimizer cycle of sexual abuse. If it happened to me, I will make sure that it happens to others too! All said and done, it seems to be a safe argument to suggest that all human beings suffer in their own individual ways and while some would be able to better hide their sufferings, others might not be able to do such a good job.
 
We seem to be making these decisions even harder by sticking “good” or “bad” labels on to people. What exactly is it that makes a person good or bad? And who decides whether a person is good or bad? Do “bad” people not suffer? Do they deserve to? Do good people, by virtue of the good things they do, not deserve to? In fact, if there is a moral hierarchy of suffering then who decides its levels?
 
There is another school of thought which says that Good people suffer because they expect good from bad people. If we are asking why “good” people suffer, the implication, really, is that suffering should be reserved for the “bad”. What really describes a good person is his ability to empathize or to step into someone else’s shoes. His ability to understand and act on the welfare of others. Good people suffer because they are more sensitive…..what leaves some unaffected will probably drive a good person insane as he would immediately feel the suffering of his fellow man. Sudha Murthy has rightly said and I quote-“you should not be so sensitive….sensitive people suffer a lot in life”. The root of suffering is attachment, so if you want to remove suffering from your life, you also at some level need to detach yourself from the people and situations that surround you. You have to then start living in a mould where happiness will not give you joy and grief will not cast its sorrow.  
Does that mean that we should become totally unfeeling is what I ask now? In our quest to avoid inflicting pain on ourselves, do we need to become emotionless, insensitive beasts or is this suffering ultimately giving us something in return? Some theologians have tried to unsuccessfully solve the riddle of evil by glorifying suffering, “Suffering is not always a misfortune. It often helps us to grow. In the depths of sorrow we receive light”; “Suffering is not punishment but the prize of fellowship. It is an accompaniment of all creative endeavor”; “Suffering takes us to the centre of things and away from trivialities of life” and so on and so forth…
The doctrine of karma offers a satisfactory solution to the riddle of suffering. According to it, God’s creative act is in conformity with the law of karma and even though God can overrule karma yet he does not do so as that would be inconsistent with his moral nature and violative of the principle of natural justice. Now the question that confronts us is all good people who are suffering….is it their previous bad karma catching up with them? The questions keep haunting us and there seems to be no answer. But what if we found the answer? What if someone came along and gave us a satisfying explanation? What if the mystery were finally solved? What if we asked why, and actually got an answer?
If this ultimate question were answered, then we would be able to make peace with the suffering of innocents. And that is unthinkable. Worse than innocent people suffering is others watching their suffering unmoved. Napoleon has rightly said- “the world suffers a lot not because of the violence of the bad people, but because of the silence of the good people”. So let this quest for the root of suffering be never ending…..because if we were to understand why innocents suffer, we would no longer be bothered by their cry, we would no longer feel their pain, because we would understand why it is happening. And that would truly be the end!
 
(The author is an Advocate on Record practising in the Supreme Court of India,   Delhi High Court and all District Courts and Tribunals in Delhi. She has done her Doctorate in Criminal Law and is the Legal Member in the Internal Complaints Committee of various private as well as Government Organizations. Feedback:swatijindalgarg@gmail.com)
 

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