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Positive Personality: Dos and Don’ts

Post by on Thursday, August 26, 2021

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If someone were to ask you, “What do you want in life? What is your goal?’’ Instantly our mind goes to a few describing words like, confidence, success, happiness, to be able to do more, achieve more, be more positive, be more assertive towards life. These are the signs of having a positive personality and positive mental attitude.
We all have that one friend who is most of the time upbeat, cheerful, confident, goal oriented and positive. We wish to be like them.
We can. We all can have a positive personality and positive attitude. Some possess it innately. For others, it can be learned and developed and can become a part of our personality. It is not difficult. We can inculcate positive attitudes in our personality through practice.
How can one do it? What are the Dos and Don’ts of having a Positive Personality?
Do’s
 
1.       Be Aware of your thoughts- observe your thoughts. Are they helping you move forward or holding you back?
 
2.    Have a Gratitude     Journal- At the end of every day, write in this journal 5 things that you are grateful for that day or 5 positive things that have happened to you on each day .
Eg- a chat with a friend , time for lunch, reaching home early from work.
 
3.    Have a To-Do list – for every day. Each day try and complete it in the allocated time for each activity / work. Every day try to do more than the previous day.
 
4.    Use Positive/ Affirmative Words or Sentences – to describe yourself and your work. Keep repeating to yourself that you are doing a good job and doing something that is important to you. Give a pat on your back at the end of the day.
 
5.     Forgive yourself – Learn to be less harsh on yourself and forgive yourself for any mistakes you have made. Do not judge yourself harshly. Try to solve the problem , try to do the right thing, but even after doing everything the solution is far away, tell yourself ``it's OK”.
 
6.    Learn to say- “NO”-If  you don’t want to do something , just say  NO, in an assertive way and without being disrespectful of the other person .
 
7.     Allow yourself to change your mind/ decisions / goal, without having to feel any guilt about the same .
 
8.   Help others.
 
9.   Smile often
 
10.                        Include Recreational Time- every day – atleast for 1 hour. This can be any hobby , spending  time with family and friends , watching a movie, reading , etc.
 
11.  Physical Exercise – at least for 40 minutes every day.
 
12.Surround yourself with Positive People – those who inspire you and motivate you.
 
 
Don’t’s
1.      Don’t use “should” and “must” statements. Eg- ‘I should have got this/ must have done this / He/she should do this’. This creates compulsions and this affects us negatively.
 
2.    Stay away from negative people who have a tendency to put you down and pin point only the wrong doings and mistakes.
 
3.    Don’t be a perfectionist. This puts extra strain on our mind. Be happy with good enough.
 
4.    Do not compare yourself with others and their achievements. Try and do the best you can, depending on your circumstances and capabilities.
 
5.     Don’t dwell on past failures. Learn from past mistakes and apply in the present. Live in the NOW.
 
6.    Don’t run away from problems. Face them and try to solve them.
 
With practice, anyone can have a positive personality. Just a little bit of  perseverance is what is needed.
 
Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud. - Shannon L. Alder.
 
 
Positive Personality Traits
1.     Capable—There’s no exception to this trait. I’ve never met an effective, happy, or successful person who wasn’t capable. They take their life and work seriously. They do things with a purpose. And most importantly, they know what they are talking about. 
2.     Curious—Effective people avoid assumptions. This used to be my biggest pitfall. I made assumptions about everything. One of my co-workers once told it to me straight: Stop making so many assumptions! That’s what I did. I decided to become curious instead. Effective people ask a lot of questions. That’s how you avoid assumptions. 
3.     Assertive—People think you have to be nice. That’s wrong. It’s good to be polite, but you don’t have to go out of your way to be nice all the time. Effective people think about themselves. But they don’t sacrifice others. That’s what assertiveness is about.
4.     Forgiving—Holding grudges is the least effective thing you can do. So many people have destroyed relationships and group dynamics because of grudges. “How could that person do this to me!” Well, maybe that other person doesn’t even know why! People do stupid things. Move on.
5.     Independent—Effective people are not easily influenced by others. They listen to others. But they are independent thinkers. They are not easily swayed by outside events.
6.     Respectful—You know how insecure people make subtle digs at you or other people? “You look so tired. What’s going on?” That’s one of those dirty remarks that’s meant to make you feel bad. There are a lot of people who want to put you down, which automatically makes them feel better than you. Respectful people never do that. You can also disagree with people and still be respectful. Basically, effective people are the opposite of internet trolls.
7.     Truthful—When you regularly tell lies (no matter how small they are), you will eventually get caught by your own web. Call me superstitious (or a little-stitious, as Michael Scott once said), but I think lies will eventually catch up with you. That’s why it’s better to tell the truth. It’s not always pretty, but at least it’s not a lie.
8.     Precise—It’s hard to explain things in a few words. It requires thought and effort to be precise. That’s why you see a lot of people talk endlessly. They don’t know what to say, so they use a shotgun approach. They spray words and hope a few will hit the mark. To be precise, you want to be like a marksman. Every sentence and action serves a purpose. 
9.     Fair—People who say that fairness is an impossible concept are usually not fair people. There are universal principles of fairness. In summary, be straight with people and don’t play favorites. Be consistent in the way you treat people. That’s the fairest thing we can do. And yes, that seems impossible in practice because it goes against our nature sometimes. But effective people do a lot of things that go against nature. They do things that others don’t do. 
10.                        Flexible—Life is complex and full of change. To survive and thrive, one must adapt all the time. That’s why effective people are highly flexible and fluid. If you give them a new idea that works better than their old one, they go with the new one. They don’t care about their ego or looking smart. They care about what works. 
11.                        Self-aware—Knowing what you can and can’t, will make your life a lot easier. Too often, we’re not aware of who we are. But to be effective, you must know who you are and what you’re made of. And if you have weaknesses or make mistakes, self-awareness will help you to be honest about it. There’s nothing wrong with imperfection. In fact, if you’re not imperfect, you’re probably a robot. 
12.                        Optimistic—Give effective people a challenge, and they’ll think about a solution. Give them a bleak outlook, and they’ll find things to be grateful for. In contrast, being pessimistic is the easiest thing in the world. Everyone can complain and say “we can’t do that.” But it takes strength to say “let’s figure out a way to make it happen.” 
 
 

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