Making a boast of ‘me’
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Making a boast of ‘me’

The line between modesty and good self-promotion is a fine one. For boasters, the confusion about humility and modesty continues throughout their adult lives

Post by on Saturday, August 28, 2021

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In the present day fiercely competitive world, where innate moral values and ethics hardly pay off, failure is simply inevitable, if you fail to promote/advertise your attributes and traits. Self-promotion (self praise) is become an in thing and a crucial element to one's success in finding job, moving up to a better one and negotiating (quantum) rise in the career. Letting others know, 'what-your-achievements-are', enables you to seize opportunities to set yourself apart from the competition. Personal/self branding is a clear, deep and profound understanding of 'who-you’re' and 'what-you-stand-for'. It’s a helping tool, no matter people resort to bragging or pretence, for a quest to understand what one excels in and then leveraging on those attributes to create a brand called 'me'.
Job searching/currying favour (with some one important) for a rise or windfall is something all about sales: the product you're selling is 'you'. If you're unable to convey the "product" attributes/benefits, it’s more challenging to convince a potential buyer to go for it. If you don't 'toot your horn', nobody else will do it for you - except may be your mom/wife, but she can't call every employer on your behalf. The bottom line is that one is required to be very proud of himself and his accomplishments (he's earned it) and market himself effectively.
People want bigwigs, bosses and the like to notice their merit/success and then point it out to others. But then this does not usually happen. The latter don't do it. Even though people know that 'the empty vessels make much noise' no one finds time and interest in differentiating a deserving individual from hypocrite (a bunch of skilled self-marketeers-around-leaders). An extrovert wordsmith brands himself effectively. Low keyed, non-assertive (and undemonstrative) introvert on the other hand may not do so for the reason that he won't like to toot his horn and/or organize him to articulate his success openly and outlandishly.
Since the day we’re born and all through our youth, we’d be overly praised for our accomplishments. When we first said "blah-blah" we’re given a big hug as also a huge "wah wah!" When we made our first drawing of a house, which looked more like a house after a tornado had struck it, the drawing was hung on the wall for all to see and admire. Then one day, we’re taught that when we bring our accomplishments to the attention of others, it’s called "bragging". And what used to get praise now gets scorn.
As we grow old many negative connotations typically come to mind when we think about people 'tooting their horn' every now and then. At some time or the other most of us are guilty of boasting, bragging and bigging ourselves up. For a section of people life without praise is just not possible. As for others without it the desire for achievement is lost; for them boasting and bragging are necessary for all great achievements. The high end boasters have no limits. Sitting (antsy) in the room, ready to burst, they just can't wait to tell others all how fantastic they are, how they’re good at this and even better at that--virtually all the wild and outrageous things in the world. They’d claim to be enlightened, wise, and highly intellectual and may tell you that they’re so popular that you should be honoured if they chose you to spend their day with.
Perhaps because their success is visible, be it in standard of living or accolades or awards, the genuine high achievers (ones that have succeeded) just don’t feel inclined to keep promoting themselves as their reward does their success and not everyone knows about it. Perhaps because they’re sensitive to the needs of others and also possess good social skills, which teach that braggers are never appreciated, these genuine high achievers are a tad more humble. They don’t feel the need to boast, brag or highlight to others how much better they’re than everyone else. They remain always humble and earn (and not seek) respect from others.
He who really does believe he can do all the things he can claim to do, & yet cannot, is somewhat delusional. The latter appears to feel fine to reinforce him, and blows his achievements and talents out of proportion with humanity let alone reality. What prompts these grand delusions (of grandeur) is a mystery. May be it's a brain thing; either way these people are impossible to convince that they cannot do what they claim and it's pointless trying. The line between modesty and good self-promotion is a fine one. For boasters, the confusion about humility and modesty continues throughout their adult lives.
Boasters attempt to defend themselves with their boasts rather than boasting for boasting sake. When they feel under fire, their means of defence is to tell others how great they are and belittle others in the process. It's not the most effective form of debate. It is common to make light of people who boast and share a joke with them about how great they think they’re. Not all people who boast do have a healthy self esteem. People who boast due to low self esteem might take offence where there is none, read into things and are highly sensitive to any hint of criticism. Worst of all though is that they don’t hear the compliments and praise that is directed at them. They only hear the negative. People that suffer from low self esteem at some point can lead to a vicious cycle of feeling bad, behaving badly which makes one feel even worse with the result that the self esteem further grows low and low.
As one looks at boasters/braggarts and their idiosyncrasies, the questions arise why do people boast, why do they behave this way and do they really believe in their own hype? And that too when you know all of the immature favourites: conceited, show-off, braggart, arrogant, egotistical. Nobody wants to fall victim to such name-calling.
 
(Author has done PG in English Literature and is a Columnist)
 

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