Common Sense Parenting
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Common Sense Parenting

Evidence shows that parenting empowerment can be a powerful and cost-effective tool to support the well being of children and their families

Post by on Wednesday, August 25, 2021

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Parents are the primary concern when it comes to well-being and betterment of their children while raising them, preventing them from any harmful thing correcting them in different ways from their mistakes and also increasing their confidence level and boosting up the morale of children, creating environment of harmony and peace. It has believed that children learn more from parents rather than from others. Evidence shows that parenting empowerment can be a powerful and cost-effective tool to support the well being of children and their families. To prevent behavioral and emotional problems and child maltreatment, one of the most important things we can do as a parents is to increase the confidence, knowledge, and skills of fathers and mothers in raising their children. 
 
The foundations for children’s social and emotional skills and their relationships are laid down in the early years in the family. Therefore, the ability to support parents to build those relationships with their children is of the upmost importance. Parents and other significant caregivers are the most important people in a young child’s life, shaping the child’s values, relationships, and interest in learning. We usually emphasis on two things: the “head” and the “heart.” In the first term “head” which means using a logical, practical method of teaching the children, in other words using skills to change the behavior of kids. While on the other hand the “heart” which means having unconditional love for the children. When we believe on these two terms we need to put them both together afterward we have such powerful combination. 
 
Positive parenting supports the healthy development and adjustment of children, using good communication, positive attention and problem-solving to promote nurturing family environments. The key messages on positive parenting should be disseminated to all parents and caregivers involved in raising a child or caring for a child on a daily basis. These messages should recognize that the child is a person with rights to protection and participation, but also that families today face many challenges, and that governments need to provide the conditions for positive parenting, remove barriers, and raise awareness about its importance. 
 
The 5 Core Pillars of Positive Parenting  
Safe, secure, loving environment.
Positive learning environment.
Positive discipline.
Reasonable expectations.
Good self-care.
 
These 5 pillars form the foundation of positive parenting at all ages are only possible when:
There is a safe, loving environment
Parents work as a team to help children become independent and self-regulated
Parents have reasonable expectations about what children of different ages and abilities are capable of doing.
Parents adopt an "authoritative" rather than an authoritarian, permissive or uninvolved parenting style and positive discipline.
Parents take care of themselves and their relationship. 
 
Some main steps of Common Sense Parenting (CSP)
Effective Praise 
Praise is very powerful tool while dealing with children. Praising the children is one of the most important things can be done for being a parents or playing the role of parent. Actually praise is nourishment which helps the children to grow emotionally just as food helps the child to grow physically. Usually we observed that parents often focus on the negative way as it is very easy for them to see the mistakes and shortcomings of their children. Focusing on the negative things is very easy and when it comes to refocus so we see the good things our children will do. 
 
The easiest way to praise someone is to say things like, appreciating and applauding and increasing the confidence level of the child. Children like to hear nice things said about them and they will work hard to get more praise in future. Moreover when children perform well in their academics or other activities they need praise like, they wait for surprise gift from parents or want to go for outing with parents or friends. Similarly there are numerous actions that convey effective praise like, hugging them, kissing them, wining or smiling them or giving them thumps up, ruffling their hair and vice-versa. Consistently using Effective Praise will result in more positive behaviors from the children and it will also positively impact on their daily life. 
 
Preventive Teaching
Preventive Teaching is a valuable tool for both parents and children. The major role here the parents need to prevent their children from superfluous things or undesirable activities like, refraining them from substances abuses which are the main concern in our society as our young generation is involved in drugs. Apart from this we have other concern of child abuses where parents can play effective role while injecting their children the concept of good touch and bad touch, different abuses and its prevention, various danger things and preparing them to refrain oneself from strangers and unknown. Similarly one more issue is online abuse especially the Paedophiles which attracts children by grooming them and developing relationship with children and pretending to be the most known person to them. On the other hand during the lockdown due to Covid-19 increasing cases the concept of online classes has started by the school authorities, while attending classes the most of children have been involved in online games and remaining busy in social media sites it was all because of the negligence and lack of parenting monitoring mechanism the children got distracted and derailed from the actual track.  
 
Similarly the parents have role to prepare their children from unfamiliar situations and increase the self confidence so that they can learn how to change their behavior and be successful. As a parent, you influence your child's basic values, like religious values, and issues related to his/her future, like educational choices, preparing for future and taking ownership and most important is responsible member of the family. These things can be more effective and fruitful only when there is stronger parents’ children relationship and can be more influence you will have. It is believed when shows reasonability and take the ownership while preventing children from bad things will have positive impact and on contrary the children values the good opinion, advice and support by their parents and preventing them for any misadventure.
 
Corrective Teaching
It combines clear messages with consequences and practice to help parents respond to problem behavior. It has believed that in first instance the children never accept their mistakes when parents try to correct them. The parents are primary concern when it comes to correcting the behaviors of children or bringing them in the mainstream. The parents play a key part in both correcting and intervening while correcting the behavior and mistakes of children by injecting them the substances abuses, consequences while being busy in social media and playing online games, wastage of time etc. The parents must try to correct children when they are involved in bad things like, stealing, indulging in lies, having the company of bad people which can be disastrous and also can be harmful for them. 
 
Follow-up Teaching
Parents have an important role while regularly monitoring the routine activities of their children. Some key and effective things which can be helpful while tracking out the daily activities of children:
The proper time table needs to be prepared by parents and cross check the routine activities of children.
The parents must follow up when it comes to monitoring pocket money and other resources being provided to children, they must be held accountable for judicious use of resources. 
The children must be restricted from social media sites and all the devices like, tablets, mobile phone other gadgets like laptop and desktop can be issued only when there is need and requirements. 
One more important thing is that friend circle of children needs to be regularly monitored and should be cross checked. The parents must hold interactive session with the friends of children and take notice of their routine activities while getting feedback from their nearest one. 
 
 
 
(Author is Sr. Child Rights Practitioner, Working at International Child Care and Development Organization. Feedback: Azharpeerzada111@gmail.com)
 

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